Thursday, October 31, 2013

Here With Kitty&Kitty

Today was pretty epic. I sharpied my face so that I would look like a kitty, and then I sharpied Dawson's face so that we'd match. We were so cute together. After school, it took a bit, but I finished my book report that I needed to finish due to the fact that it was due the next day. Anyways, I had things  to do and couldn't attend any of the parties that I was invited to this evening. Last minute, we heard Dawson was in town and about to just walk home by himself because he had given up on his party plans because nobody was showing up. Refusing that he walk all the way home, I got in the car and drove to where he was. Since I have my permit, I can do that more often and come to the rescue. We sat at my house and watched Ghost Busters instead of him having to go home.Every now and then, I'd add onto what I was working on with schoolwork though, along with checking things off on my To-Do list. It was still an amazing night because we made it one. We took our time to make each other smile and have fun. It's not about what you're doing, it's about who you're with. This is why my love language is Quality Time... It's because I feel this happy when I'm with him and only him. When we get one-on-one time. When he puts his phone away and tells them that he's with me and that he can't talk at the moment. It's so sweet of him to just be with me.

We had fun and it was well worth my night. I had actually been missing Dawson a lot more than usual that night and wanted some time with just him and me. Thanks to this Halloween, I was able to get that time. I missed him so much, and it was great to finally just spend time with him...and just him. His eyes, his smile, everything about him drives me completely wild. I could have spent time with some of my other friends, but I really needed this time with him. I was stressed to the point that I realized I wasn't quite myself anymore and I was angry most of the time.He's such a good boyfriend though. He accepts me for who I am, even though I'm pretty weird and crazy at this particular moment. He's here by my side no matter what. Even if I'm wrong, he still stands with me because we're each other's equals. We come to an agreement, and do whatever is best for us as a couple. It's not just how adorable he looks, it's everything about him. Believe me, I know all about the girls who would give "anything" to be with him...but I would do everything. I would do the impossible. I would cheat death to be with him, if it were my decision. He's mine. A message to all the girls out there that are crushing on him, he won't be leaving ANY time soon. We've been together for 13 months and 11 days as of today, so get over it.
This is especially for Dawson... This is for all the work we both have put into the beautiful relationship that has grown to be us. Drawkah used to be just an idea of happiness, but now it's much more. Drawkah is more than we could have ever imagined. Drawkah is true love, true happiness, and in all honesty, the best thing that has ever come into my life.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Why I DO NOT Do Vlogs

Hello, my wonderful viewers. My YouTube channel? Yeah, it's been quite a success. I'd like to thank Dawson for all the help he's given me with starting up my channel. If you'd like to get a link to my channel, well, here it is! My first couple of videos have basically been me starting to play Minecraft. It's helped a TON with me getting to the point where me and Dawson can bond even more over things we do and have fun with. A lot of you didn't think I'd be going into a gaming channel, most of you thought I'd be doing vlogs... Thing is, why would I do a vlog? Getting out deep feelings would require me to sit down and write it out instead of sitting down, with the pressure of a camera, and saying it over film for the world to see. Some might say that I like to sit behind the computer and pretend like someone else. Thing is, that is completely the opposite. I'm more myself than ever when I'm on my blog writing for you all to see. I know that if you care about what I have to say, you'll check it out for yourself.
So I was talking to James about my love for Dawson, basically... and I came up with this quote... made by me of course. Obviously, it's about him.. I don't think it could be any more true due to my feelings.

UPDATE: My stepbrother now has a blog! The Dark Lord Fluffy has been "inpspired" by the work I've put into my blog. He's now got 2 posts up as of the 23rd. Check out his blog soon, if you'd like. I'd totally recommend checking it out.

The Dark Lord Fluffy is inspirational too! Here's what I found very inspirational.

Here's some more advice that might be helpful.  Be yourself.  Don't change yourself to try to fit in.  being yourself IS what make people fit perfectly in with their own groups.  If you change, and it is fine, do it because it will make you a better person.
I have this long story and the main point was I changed because I realized that the person I was, wasn't who I wanted to be.  I changed to become a better person.
-The Dark Lord Fluffy

Saturday, October 19, 2013

When The Flowers Die...

I love my boyfriend, I really do. He's always so nice to me, and so sweet. Today I was having a hard time with my family life. He was there to help me. I was crying because I missed my brother so much,(today's his birthday) and Dawson said that he knows that I'm strong, and that I can make it through the next year and couple months. Other than a trial with missing my brother, who is now 20, I had a trial to overcome with my father. We got talking about plans for the upcoming holidays, and he was complaining about how he doesn't get me for Thanksgiving, when really, he had me over last year for Thanksgiving. Anyways, Dawson helped me with that! I'd just like to thoroughly thank him for all the stuff he's done to help me. He could tell, all of today, that something was wrong. He's been there for me all day. Thanks, Dawson.

When me and him sang, it really cheered me up because it got my mind off things, and the fact that I was actually comfortable singing with him, strengthened our relationship. He's so sweet. He reminds me a little bit of my brother because my brother will stop at NOTHING when something's wrong with one of his friends. He's always there for everyone, with all of his inspiring quotes, and sayings.. so now here I am.. with my blog, hoping to find a way to match up to him. So that me and him become equals, in a way. I love my missionary. He's so spiritual.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Those Two People

It's time to be strong... We've gone into the dark. However, there's still light no matter how strong the darkness may be. I can already tell that I'm in the dark with all the stress that I have in my life... I'd like to reach out and thank two very special people in my life that have been talking to me, understanding me, and loving me for who I am. Those two people in my life are Sienna and Dawson.

As you all know, I talked more about Dawson in the last post, but he's honestly there for me. One night I couldn't sleep, I didn't know what to do, and I was sad because I felt like he was taking me for granted or something. I messaged him on Tango saying that I had a nightmare. I didn't expect him to reply, but suddenly, I did end up getting a reply... He asked me what happened, and I heard his voice. The voice he used when he was truly concerned. I told him about my nightmare, and he said it wouldn't ever happen in real life. He even apologized for being such a jerk in my dream... He told me how he felt about me, and it made me feel important again. He said "Honey I'm your loyal and trustworthy boyfriend, I'm never ever gonna leave your side you're too important in my life. Better yet, you NEED me and I see that i love you too much to leave you we will never split. I don't care that you're emotional all the time, bay. You're more important than anything or anyone." When I'm lonely, and feel like he'd do okay without me, I'm going to look back on all the sweet things he's said to me, and just remember that he does love me. "Hun I would die for you for you to live, would shatter if you left, would do everything and anything for you." If this isn't love, then what is it? He says he's not even thinking, he's speaking from his heart, and he says his reason is to protect me and make me feel loved, and do anything for me. When will I ever get any of that again? I feel so lucky to have someone this brilliant. It's brilliant that he feels this way about me and only me.

Sienna. Ever since I met Sienna, I knew there was something odd about her that separates her from all the other people that I know. I wonder if it's her look, her attitude, or her personality. Thing is, it's none of that. It's the hope she gives others. It's the inspiration and the advice that she offers. As I mentioned in Not The Breakup Story, she's the friend I've always hoped for when dealing with trials. She's such an amazing person, and now that I think about it, I don't know if I do enough for her. When I needed her, she came for me, but am I there for her when she needs me? With a true friendship, each person has to level out their dedication. To be perfectly honest, when I asked myself the question this morning, who is my best friend, I automatically thought Sienna. She's such an important person in my life. A while back, after we made up Hate Me... But Why?, Sienna sent me this text that honestly made me appreciate her so much more than I already do. I wrote it down because she said that I need to keep it...because it's something that makes our friendship so much stronger. Wednesday, July 10th at 11:32 pm "Please. Remember this. Even if I get mad at you. I still am your friend. No matter what I say I don't mean it if it is hurtful. Positive things I do mean. Please never forget that." That is proof that she cares. THAT is proof that she's there for me whenever I need her. That tells me that no matter how much she wants to kill me, she still loves me to death. Sienna, I want to honestly tell you that I feel the same, and that message you sent me has impacted me a lot, and shown me a lot about friendship. Thank you.

Song of the Day: Into The Dark by The Lighthouse And The Whaler

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Friendship

The Scootalooser has constantly lost a bunch of respect from me, but does that mean I hate her with all of my being? No! Of course not! For all the friends that ended up being like her... The friends that are just like Mandi. Sometimes you just have to let go of them, even if they are your friends, because they don't do things that you can be okay with. In retrospect, this is the case. I don't want to be around someone who thinks sex and drugs is okay. I especially don't want that person to be my best friend. Even with multiple interventions, when they don't change, they obviously don't want your help, and I can't be friends with somebody like that... She's gauged her ears! That's not something the Chelsea I know would've done without influence from her new-found friends. Look, I don't know if it's just jealousy or something, but Chelsea is just not the same anymore. She even knows that. They've changed her, and they know it. It's like they changed her into what they wanted in a friend. In my honest opinion, it looks like peer pressure got to her.

Why did the same thing have to happen to me again though? First Mandi, and now Chelsea? The last thing Chelsea wanted was for her to be a Mandi. Every time she made a mistake, she'd come out and say that she was sorry and that she didn't want to be like Mandi. There's more friends out there for me though. Friends that will stick by you, and friends that are phenomonal friends for the moment. I don't hate Chelsea, in fact, I love her. But when I'm not comfortable with her decisions, how can I support them? It's important that I'm there for my friends when they need me, but it seems like she doesn't need me. It seems like she doesn't need me at all anymore.

It's sad... All my friends end up fading away..with the exception of one person. Marlee. I know I don't really mention this incredible girl very much, but she is someone I've known since the days of Primary. Not only was she a friend made in my early years, but she was my very first friend. Oh boy was I lucky when I had found somebody that represents the qualities of a perfect friend all wrapped up together into one. She truly is amazing. It's not just her amazing social skills, it's her magnificent singing, her remarkable wit, and her hilarious comedy that makes her overall 20% cooler. Gimme a like if you know that reference.

There's the one that's like a brother to you...Gavin.
There's the one that's always bound to get a laugh out of you...Mom
There's the one that's rush to you, when you're devastated and out of hope...Sienna

Then there's the one that's always there... The one that you can't even get rid of even if you try. That person for me, as you can probably guess, is Dawson. When I'm sad and nobody can tell, he knows. When I'm crying alone in a dark corner, he knows. Not only does he know, he helps. From a simple "I love you" to a paragraph filled with words inspiring me to look on the bright side, he fills my heart with happiness. Not only does he make me happy, he makes me feel loved. Even though he's my boyfriend, he has all of the qualities I see in a best friend too, besides the kissing parts. Aside from all the beauty in Drawkah, Dawson is an amazing best friend. He's my best friend. He's always there for me even when everyone else has ditched me. He'll always be by my side, regardless of whether I'm right or wrong. He's amazing, but he denies it just to tell me that I'm perfect. He's my best friend.


I'd like to thank all of you that have made this blog possible. Special thanks to The Daily Tower for inspiring me to make this blog. Thank you all for the likes, the follows, and most of all, reading! This is our 100th blog-post so doing this on friendship took a lot of guts because I had to come out and say exactly what I thought about these people. Thank you so much for reading, and let's hope the next hundred are filled with inspiration.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Stay Inspirational

So!! I'd like to dedicate this here post to The Scootalooser and The Daily Tower. I know that now the two are sadly inactive blogs, but I'd just like to an extend a thank you towards all their efforts they have taken to inspire others around them. They're both amazing bloggers, but I've got to say it's hard releasing them as my fellow sistersites. If you two are reading this, I'd love to say that I love you both. Don't take this personally, but I guess Lil Miss Epic is now on her own as a blog. Thank you so much to all of you reading my blog, the anniversary of Lil Miss Epic is slowly approaching us in one month. As we reach our goal of one year, I'd love to hear some fan questions from you guys. It'd be great because I'd love to answer your questions! By the way this is officially our 99th post!! The next post will be our 100th! I'm so excited!

I'm starting to think with each post I have I'll carry on what The Daily Tower left behind... A quote. In my case, an inspirational quote. And to put more effort into all of this, I'll edit that quote into a picture to make it more visually appealing. So, here you go! Today's quote by Will Rogers

As for the rest of today's post, have a video of the Song of the Day provided by James and Chelsea: Stay by Rihanna (ft. Mikky Ekko) cover by James and Chelsea As for that, I love these two very much. Stay inspirational.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

How We Respond

Many of you may know the five love languages... Physical touch,  receiving gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, and acts of service. These things make up of what we, as people, respond to the most as feeling loved. In other words, if somebody were to hug me, I'd feel very loved. However, if somebody were to do something nice for me, I'd feel cared for. The five love languages give off different vibes of good feelings. Some are stronger than others. I have 3 strong-suits in the five love languages, and my bottom two are just kind of iffy. Here's what I scored.

12     Physical Touch
7      Quality Time
6      Words of Affirmation
3      Acts of Service
2      Receiving Gifts

From 1 to 5, is how I rank how grateful I am for that certain act. For the most part, my top three, are all very very close in a matter of priority. If you'd like to take a test about The Five Love Languages, then click the link below.

The 5 Love Languages

Now for some words from the site, itself... Here's mine... In order.

Physical Touch:
"This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship."

Quality Time:
"In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities."

Words of Affirmation:
"Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving."

Acts of Service:
"Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts."

Receiving Gifts:
"Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly."

There you have it, folks! A little bit more to know about me. If you're interested, go ahead and try this test. It's surprisingly accurate.

Now for blog business for you guys, as my viewers! I was thinking of expanding a little bit more, and maybe getting better on YouTube, and possibly gaming there with my boyfriend. Thing is, how would I be able to get him to play Audition with me? Haha, anyways! I think something I'm going to stop doing is the shout-outs. Maybe every once in a while we'll have one, but until then, I'll just be talking to you guys, and only you guys. What do you guys think? Also, I'd love to do some fan-questions! If you have any questions, message my Facebook page, post on my Facebook page, or just comment below!

Friday, October 4, 2013

I'm Sorry

So, I woke up early this morning, even though we have no school... I decided to stay up and think... just think about whatever what was said the day before, and the behavior I've had to somebody lately. I feel so stupid now. I thought about what it'd be like if Dawson and I weren't together, and if he were with her... It'd hurt, I know that for sure. It's sad because I say I don't trust her. Truth is, I'm just protective over him. It's just like my first friend I had. He didn't want me being friends with anybody else, but him. I even thought that was over controlling back then... So now I'm realizing I'm being pretty controlling with Dawson too. Now, I'm not saying that Dawson is free to do whatever with girls that he wants...because that's not true. Of course there'll be a limit, but it's not like he'd ever exceed the limit. I know that he loves me more than any other girl...so why am I worrying? I shouldn't.

So here it goes, I'm really sorry to... everyone, really. I want him to myself. I'm sorry to those who I've just ignored what you said, and walked away with Dawson. I'm sorry to those who I've been jealous of, when I've had his heart all along. I'm sorry to those who try to talk to him, but I drag him away. I'm not being fair to you guys. For some reason, I have this odd idea in my head that I need to be the only one he cares about, but that shouldn't be the case for him. He should care about his friends too, and he does. I think my problem is that I'm around a bunch of girls everyday, and I hear people talk about how cute he is and how much they want to get with him, and I'm sitting there like a nobody. So sorry, guys.

I've been an emotional wreck lately. I've been majorly unstable. I think I know what it is now... It's not Dawson, like I thought it was. It's what's happening at home combined with stress from Driver's Ed. I came home bawling yesterday because I had failed my city drive in a clutch car. Of course, I hate clutch because it's so hard for me to drive. Knowing that I've only driven it twice, I'm going to end up driving it two or more times in the future. Due to the fact that you need 4-5 times in a clutch car. Now that I think about it, It's not what's happening at home.. It's more of what's not happening. My mom never has any time for me now. She's always on the phone with a group of women talking about being positive, or she's on the phone with a bunch of customers. Anyways, I've been really lonely lately. I need a friend.

So, not only am I losing quality time at home, I'm losing quality time with my friends as well. You guys... I'm sorry for whatever I did wrong...but a lot of your are just leaving my life. I don't know why... but there's only eight friends that have stuck around... Eight out of all of my friends. Eight out of tons. I failed the friendship test, I guess. Those eight... Dawson, Sienna, Braxton, Keely, James, Julia, and Gabby and Krista usually talk to me and care about how I'm doing, not only when I'm crying, but even if I'm the happiest person at that time. They laugh with me, they cry with me, they share with me. They inspire me...They show what it's like to be there for a friend even when their world is crashing down in front of them, instead of letting somebody else do the work. Thank you, you eight. You help dry my tears, knowing that you all care for me.

Friends come and go...but it's hard watching a friend go through something that's just a life lesson, in general. I have a friend right now, and she's not really acting herself anymore. She's a different person around these 3 other people, and everyone is so surprised at how much she's changed over the summer. Thing is, I totally agree with them. She has changed. I almost never hear from her anymore... I guess she's too busy trying to hang with her other friends, like those three. Of course, I can't assume, but honestly a bunch of her friends are hurt because of how much she "changed" over the summer, and how she's just not the same as before.



Lil Song of the Day: True Rarity by Fauxsnyder

Epic Shout-Outs of the Day:
Linsey Ketchum:
 I've been thinking about you. About how we were friends back in sixth grade, and our friendship faded after I went to online school for a year. My point is, I wasn't sure if you had changed or not. I've known a lot of  nice girls, and girls that I've been friends with... but I have trust issues. As I said up there, none of this is you, it's all in my head. Please don't feel so awkward when you're with me and him. I want to be your friend again, I hope that's not too much to ask. I'm sorry for getting jealous over nothing.
-Bek
Dawson: Yeah, you obviously know what's going on, due to the shout-out above. I'm sorry for being jealous over nothing. Also, I'm sure you'll see this post. Would you mind doing me a favor, and sending her to this post and asking her to read the first and second paragraph, along with her shout-out? Please and Thank you.
-Bek