The lack of a keyboard for my new laptop shouldn't stop me from at least posting once this month. I'm sorry for the lack of posting in May, but there was so much going on.
I'm finally an adult and I have wanted to get some things off of my chest. Especially seeing as this is my public-diary. I try not to hide things from you guys. I make sure that it's never intentional if I do.
I was never the cool girl in school. I was never popular or most likely to succeed or anything like that. In fact, I think I was more of a girl to sit back and be forgotten. I wouldn't be surprised how many people saw me walk across the stage at graduation and thought to themselves "who is she?"
Do we often find ourselves asking that? Have you thought to look at somebody else and imagine what they could possibly be going through? Do we even care at the very thought? Well, my future profession requires that I care about each and every persons feelings. I should be considering their back stories and how they came to where they are in life now.
Did I do my job in highschool? To an extent. I tried my best to reach out to those I felt needed my help. I learned so much and hurt myself in the process of that learning. That's why I'm going to college. I need to learn how to actually apply past to present behavior and how to help these people better. I want to be a therapist when I grow up. And if I can't do that, then I want to be one heck of a mother that can apply that degree to that job in life just as well. I want to be taken more seriously and I think that this degree that I'm walking towards is a big step towards that.
Now, thinking in the present, I feel like I haven't prepared enough for college. Like I don't feel ready at all. But in hindsight, I've already prepared quite a lot. I signed on an apartment in Rexburg, signed up for English 101 and Math 108, and got a car to call my own.
I'm still without a job. I haven't had much luck. I tried to get a job at this animal shelter, but it's been weeks since I've been in and they still haven't contacted me. However, I do have an on and off job as a house keeper. I worked just yesterday $10 an hour for 3 hours on this one house in Rigby with 3 of my family members. It was exhausting work to sanitize their home but it got me money to my name!
Summer has been exhausting so far. Emotionally, I feel like I'm losing friend after friend. However I feel like some friendships are remaining just as pure as before. This transition has been kind of hard on me so far, but I still feel like I have a few people I can go to for help or just to help brighten my day. Thanks for sticking around. You're real pals.
Physically, I feel exhausted this Summer as well. As stated earlier I worked on sanitizing a house yesterday and it was exhausting. We bleached nearly the entire home and afterward I just wanted to shove an entire pizza in my body. But the thing is... I'm on a diet. I'm on the diet mostly because I'm trying to support my mom in losing weight, but I could lose a few pounds myself too. It's really hard to just eat the same meals for lunch and dinner for 23 days straight.
Anyways. My love life. (Even though I try not to talk on it on here anymore.) It got a little rough around Prom. But we worked things out and prayed and talked with our bishops again and everything seemed to be alright. Since then we've just been growing closer and closer emotionally. We keep talking about the future of our relationship and where it may take us. And to be perfectly honest, I'm so excited. And more than anything, I'm proud to be with such an amazing guy. Seeing him grow has been such a great experience and I hope that I will be able to mature enough to be the kind of woman he wants in his life for time and all eternity.
With all of that said I think we're caught up on the basics of the past two months. Hopefully there will be more regularly posted soon.
Keep reaching out and inspire your inspirations.
