Disowned, But Accepted By Other Family

All things considered, the past few days have kind of been a downer overall. To sum it up, my sister pretty much disowned me. Long story short, she hates that I'm still a Mormon and that I refuse to back down from my religion. I'm just lucky that my brother went through the same thing a few months ago so that I've got somebody that I can relate to.

I went to go hang out with Kiley the other day, and boy did we have fun. We hit up the mall and bought all sorts of stuff from Hot Topic and Bath and Body Works and I got myself a few things that I had been looking for-- in both college and fandoms. We talked a couple of things out considering what I had been through and that was nice. I needed that girl-shopping time.

After hanging out with Kiley, I went to pick up Jared and we went to my last From The Heart choir meeting. We recorded all of our songs and Jared was in the back sleeping through it, or at least trying to. Overall From The Heart choir was pretty great, and I'd do it again, so long as I'm not doing it on my off-semester because it consists of 30 minute drives to and from Rexburg every Thursday and every Sunday. I won't be going to it this Fall, but I might consider joining it again, come Winter semester.

When we were finally done recording, I shoved Jared awake and we went over to my brother's house to talk about what had happened. We were going to go see a movie together as kind of a double-date, but this quickly became more important to all of us. I showed my brother my phone and he and his wife read the conversation, giving commentary about the flaws of it all. They were also clearly frustrated that she had said these things to me. Again, very personal so I won't get too much into it.

After talking about feelings about our lost sister who believes differently than we do, we made waffle-sticks and just talking and joking about different things to take our minds off of what had happened a day previous. I love hanging out with the "Phillips" family (Jordan and Christen) because they make me feel so included and loved and not looked down on-- at all! Even Jared had tons of fun with us, and he's not even a real part of our family yet. Just a close boyfriend/best friend.

The next few days were pretty hard. I wanted to be completely alone, but at the same time I was lonely and needed a couple of my friends that doubled as family. As a result, I ended up hunting Pokemon with Rachel Lau (We're Team Instinct) and hanging out with Jared a ton. By a ton, I mean four nights in a row. He even bought me food a couple of times.

Family, to me, has brought on a whole new meaning. To me, family means never abandoning each other and loving each other unconditionally. My ideal family member would always be available to talk to no matter the problem. You can tell family anything. You are able to share your hopes and dreams without their judgmental opinions. To me, family may tease you but they'll always have your back and will always be proud of you and your accomplishments.

Some friends are just family because that's just how it is. I may say that Jared isn't a real part of our family yet, but he really is. He fits all the qualifications except for relation, and he can become family if we ever get married. As for Rachel Lau, she fits a lot of the qualifications. Even though she teases Jared and I a lot, we know that she loves us and is proud of our accomplishments. These two are so close to me that they're family.

Overall, everyone on Earth is related somehow. But we can determine for ourselves whether or not we want to be a family together. That's where agency comes in. My sister, Rachel Trueman who "loves me dearly" decided she didn't want to be my sister anymore. I, in return, have decided that Rachel Lau and Jared Antis are close enough to be considered family, along with many of my other close friends. In all truthfulness, I know that the best family I can rely on right now is my Heavenly Father because he's the one that will be with me through it all, so long as I keep faith in him and acknowledge his works in our lives.

Family accepts me for who I am. And for that, I am grateful.

What Counts?

Hey friends!

I've signed up for all of my classes and I've got a car all to myself that I inherited from my dad's side of the family. It's our old family car that we've had since I was five years old. It's pretty cool that I get to drive it nowadays. Also, my keyboard showed up for my surface. So far, it's working pretty well and I love the color. It's bright blue and I couldn't be more pleased with it. I'm thinking about getting a wireless mouse for it when I head up to college. It might be easier that way rather than having a mouse pad.

My recent concern has been-- what friends am I taking with me into these college years? Recently, one of my guy friends reached out to me and said that he was going to BYU-I this fall! I referred him to my building of course because he was still apartment hunting, and it sounds like we may or may not be hanging out more come this fall, if we're in the same building and all. Of course the main point of moving out on your own is to make new friends. Especially as a brand new incoming freshman.

Another problem has been the Dress Code for this school. I'm finding more and more that I don't have the proper wardrobe going into college. I've gone to Walmart, Plato's Closet, and Runway to find a couple new outfits for college because what I have won't suffice for what's up ahead. Apparently I'm not allowed to wear T-shirts up on Campus. So that's kind of a problem seeing as T-Shirts are basically the only thing I own. So I bought a bunch of long-skirts and a couple of dressy/button-up shirts and I need some longer dresses for college, too. The biggest temptation has been all these cool T-shirts I've found while shopping for clothes that match my dress code. Or finding good dressy shirts that aren't exactly modest. Thank goodness for shrugs and undershirts and other modest adaptations to what would otherwise be qualified as immodest.

My friend Rachel, who's moving in a couple weeks (SAD!), told me that I should invest in buying a ring so that I don't get hit on as much in college, so I might just get a cheap little ring to put on one of my fingers to reduce the amount of potential flirts who are faulty ring-checkers. It'd be preferred to get a silver band with a green emerald as the stone. Dating will be a trial up on campus. Especially with a boyfriend leaving on a mission soon. Up until he leaves, I can't accept anybody who asks me out. Not that I'd be remotely interested with him still being here anyways. Any dating opportunities I want to give to first and primarily Jared. He works a ton, so he's hardly free, so my Saturdays, (if and when I'm free) we'll have to hang out.

Institute, on the other hand, has been very nice despite not having Jared there with us. I've continued to stay close to my friends from RHS, and been able to keep that Seminary-esque atmosphere. For anybody thinking about Institute, there is no question. Institute is amazing. If there's anything that will anchor you in this wonderful LDS church and build you up to be a spiritual giant, it's this class. With rotating instructors, we learn more and get multiple testimonies with each and every meeting. It's not just about all the things you've learned about in Sunday School. This class builds on prior knowledge and helps you to learn a million more new things! I completely recommend this class for anybody who wants to get more out of their Wednesday nights.

On another note, road trips have also been a thing. I drove my dad to Hailey, Idaho the other day for a business trip and also drove to Ogden, Utah with my mom yesterday. I've come to really like road trips because they help you to really get to know the person you're traveling with. So it's been a blessing to drive with both of my parents on these trips. I got to open up to them and talk and listen to all sorts of music. Thanks mom and dad.

Speaking of family, my brother, his wife, and I have gotten pretty good at going to the temple on a regular basis. We go multiple times a month! I really love the way that building makes me feel inside. I forget myself when I'm in the temple and it becomes about whoever I'm doing baptisms for. I really feel their presence and the veil becomes thin in the temple. It truly is a house of learning and realization. I always leave the temple feeling happy and peaceful. I look forward to the day when I get to be sealed to my eternal companion there.

With all of these experiences, it's easy to lose sight of what's really counts but I've found that as long as you're continually centering yourself in what's really important, you're sure to win. Sunday, I was the only one who got up in time to go to church. So I went by myself. Normally, I would just go back to bed after seeing that nobody else was up, or if I really felt like I needed the sacrament that day, I'd text a friend and ask if they could come pick me up. But no. I came just by myself. It was a little lonely at first, but as soon as the meetings started I felt the presence of the spirit with me because that's what counts. 

What really counts in your life? For me, it's been this gospel, family, my education, temple visits and quality relationships.