All things considered, the past few days have kind of been a downer overall. To sum it up, my sister pretty much disowned me. Long story short, she hates that I'm still a Mormon and that I refuse to back down from my religion. I'm just lucky that my brother went through the same thing a few months ago so that I've got somebody that I can relate to.
I went to go hang out with Kiley the other day, and boy did we have fun. We hit up the mall and bought all sorts of stuff from Hot Topic and Bath and Body Works and I got myself a few things that I had been looking for-- in both college and fandoms. We talked a couple of things out considering what I had been through and that was nice. I needed that girl-shopping time.
After hanging out with Kiley, I went to pick up Jared and we went to my last From The Heart choir meeting. We recorded all of our songs and Jared was in the back sleeping through it, or at least trying to. Overall From The Heart choir was pretty great, and I'd do it again, so long as I'm not doing it on my off-semester because it consists of 30 minute drives to and from Rexburg every Thursday and every Sunday. I won't be going to it this Fall, but I might consider joining it again, come Winter semester.
When we were finally done recording, I shoved Jared awake and we went over to my brother's house to talk about what had happened. We were going to go see a movie together as kind of a double-date, but this quickly became more important to all of us. I showed my brother my phone and he and his wife read the conversation, giving commentary about the flaws of it all. They were also clearly frustrated that she had said these things to me. Again, very personal so I won't get too much into it.
After talking about feelings about our lost sister who believes differently than we do, we made waffle-sticks and just talking and joking about different things to take our minds off of what had happened a day previous. I love hanging out with the "Phillips" family (Jordan and Christen) because they make me feel so included and loved and not looked down on-- at all! Even Jared had tons of fun with us, and he's not even a real part of our family yet. Just a close boyfriend/best friend.
The next few days were pretty hard. I wanted to be completely alone, but at the same time I was lonely and needed a couple of my friends that doubled as family. As a result, I ended up hunting Pokemon with Rachel Lau (We're Team Instinct) and hanging out with Jared a ton. By a ton, I mean four nights in a row. He even bought me food a couple of times.
Family, to me, has brought on a whole new meaning. To me, family means never abandoning each other and loving each other unconditionally. My ideal family member would always be available to talk to no matter the problem. You can tell family anything. You are able to share your hopes and dreams without their judgmental opinions. To me, family may tease you but they'll always have your back and will always be proud of you and your accomplishments.
Some friends are just family because that's just how it is. I may say that Jared isn't a real part of our family yet, but he really is. He fits all the qualifications except for relation, and he can become family if we ever get married. As for Rachel Lau, she fits a lot of the qualifications. Even though she teases Jared and I a lot, we know that she loves us and is proud of our accomplishments. These two are so close to me that they're family.
Overall, everyone on Earth is related somehow. But we can determine for ourselves whether or not we want to be a family together. That's where agency comes in. My sister, Rachel Trueman who "loves me dearly" decided she didn't want to be my sister anymore. I, in return, have decided that Rachel Lau and Jared Antis are close enough to be considered family, along with many of my other close friends. In all truthfulness, I know that the best family I can rely on right now is my Heavenly Father because he's the one that will be with me through it all, so long as I keep faith in him and acknowledge his works in our lives.
Family accepts me for who I am. And for that, I am grateful.
No comments:
Post a Comment