Here We Go Again...

Today...it all started out with me waking up, and not remembering things again. Apparently, the previous night I had told Dawson that I was obsessing way too much, and it needed to stop; however, he doesn't want me to change, which is a good thing, right? Anyways, me and my mother went to Rigby to get our nails all done pretty, and when we got out, we were going to go get some things for my brother, who's on his mission. Since Dawson was in Rigby, I thought we might get to see each other. He even offered to come to where I was. I said where I was, and then we'd head to a different location, then I'd say where I was again, then he'd say where he was, and so on. Our last stop was the post office, and Dawson was by Arctic Circle, Dawson could have just hopped out and came to see me, but no.. He never showed up. As we passed Arctic Circle, I looked out the window, and I see...Arctic Circle...no Dawson.

On our way home, I started talking to my mother about Drawkah. As I looked down into my lap, I realized that I was right last night, I obsess way too much. To me, it seemed like Dawson just didn't even care if he saw me or not. As I've seen and heard about in all those Romance movies, a guy will do anything and say anything for a girl if he really wants to be with her. *a tear falls on the keyboard* However, It's not like it is in the movies. Life is hard, and that's just how it's always going to be. Full of drama. Anyways, after not even really talking to Dawson that much, it turns out, that I'm headed to go hang out with my dad. After all, it is Monday(the day me and my dad always hang out) today!

Once my dad realized I was texting all the time, he decided to address the problem. He said that I text way too much, and that it's a good thing I have unlimited. Apparently, I text 10 times as much as anyone else in our family. My dad decided he wanted my attention. He kept poking, and poking, and poking at me...literally. It was time for a little less "obsess over Dawson time" and some more "daddy-daughter time." I didn't want to get distracted by my phone, so I decided to turn it off. After all, I did need to stop bothering him with all my texts that I was sure he didn't care much about. So, as a solution, I decided to turn off my phone. Little did I know, that pissed Dawson off a TON.

Turning on my phone after maybe 30 minutes - 1 hour, I realized I seriously couldn't live without texting him. I missed talking to him so much, and it was way too hard. I decided to text him about it, and then I find out that Dawson wasn't happy to talk to me again, he was pissed off because I had turned off my phone. I talked to Gavin about it, hoping that he would come up with some genius solution because he's Dawson's blood brother. He basically told me to tell Dawson everything, and that I should trust him. I decided, why would Gavin ever leave me astray, and let Dawson be so upset. I trusted Gavin, and I went for it, and at the end of the text message, I put: Do you still love me? and he replied Yes I do! and so just as I would think life would go on, I get a text from Gavin saying that Dawson's been pissy all day and that he will talk to him, and see if he can make it any better. I'm going to stop and do my shout-out RIGHT NOW.

'Epic' Shout-Out of the Day:
Gavin: Gavin thank you so much, you've helped enormously with Drawkah. I don't know where Drawkah would be without both you and Chelsea. Thank you for standing by me, and being my loving big brother, that I need. You're a great person to have in my life, and I hope you don't leave. Thanks for everything, Gav!

Continuing on, I thought that I'd point out that not only have I been depressed about this, but Dawson has been too.  I see why that would've been hurtful to him. I would have been depressed about it too, but at this point, Drawkah won't be able to continue if we keep having stupid little fights like this, that don't even amount to anything. I bet his friends hate me because I'M the one making him depressed. I feel like I'm going to be the girlfriend that he looks back on and says: "What did I EVER see in her?" I don't want to be that kind of girlfriend, I want to stand by him and be strong, and be the one that he can look at and say: "That's my girl." When I have Dawson, I'm happy. When I don't have Dawson, I'm depressed. That's how simple it is with the life of Bek. I can't help but obsess over him, and I better just face it right now. If Dawson and I ever break up, I'm doomed. I'm not going to get anywhere in life because I can't live without him. I want him to know that I'd do anything to be with him. Anything.

'Lil' Song of the Day: Without You by David Guetta