I Can Get Stronger

Trying to recall all that has happened in the crazy month of June, I started listening to the Drawkah playlist, and started going backwards through all of my blogposts, starting with yesterday's blog post. I realized a lot of stuff that I didn't know before. For example, "The Almost Break Up 2" was 1 ACTUAL day apart from "Not The Breakup Story". I had gotten an apology from him about how he was sorry about the previous night, then the next day, I get dumped. Interesting? Yeah! I never really payed much attention to the detail of this timeline, but Drawkah's been a freaking roller coaster this past month. One minute I'm saying that he'll do anything to be with me, and then next we're skyrocketing down to "Oh no! He's totally going to dump me!" Interesting how this world works, right?

Ever notice how "Too Obsessed" ties in with my current situation, "Like Last Summer"? Yeah, there's certain parts in this blogpost that kind of make me giggle about how planned this situation really was! It's great that I'm already kind of laughing at all of this! In one paragraph, I had said this: "What if Dawson gets his phone and iPod taken, and also loses his Facebook privileges? What will I do then?" Weird...It was a total FORESHADOW of what was going to happen soon. It's not like I meant to have a foreshadow of what was going to happen in my blog, I just write in my blog my current situation, I just think that it's unexpected that you'd see something like that be predicted!

Maybe my prayers have been answered to become stronger, and be like the Lil Miss Epic last year that could go over a month without talking to that special someone. Just like I had said in "Too Obsessed", I DO need to find independence. Not only do I have a great chance to help myself find this, but this will also help Dawson and I grow stronger, and prove to ourselves and everyone around us that we can make it through separation and no communication for a while. This situation, now that I have put more thought into it makes me smile. Knowing that I can have a second chance at this, and kind of relive what had happened last Summer, makes me feel great! Before, it scared the crap out of me, and it hurt to just think about it. I have a chance to redeem myself, and prove that I can do it! Not only can I say that I can do it, I can say that I'm mature enough to accomplish this. I can get stronger now! This is amazing!

I can get through this with a smile, I know that I miss talking to him a ton, but when I feel like bawling over him, I just think of how happy I'll be when I get to see him again, or receive a call or text or Tango message, or just hear from him. I'm excited for that moment to come, but until now, I might as well just take this time and get stronger, get better, and be the best Bek that I can be! I know that would be what Dawson would want from me. I know he wouldn't want me to be broken down in tears in that little corner of my room for 3 months. This Summer, I can already tell, will be tough. It's going to be alright though. It's always going to be okay. Why would our Heavenly Father make us lose our happy ending? He wouldn't! Even though I'm living in the present, I can already tell that there's something big in store for the future, and it'll make me feel great that I went through all of these hard times.

"Lil" Shout-Out of the Day:
James: James! The words that you have given me sometimes replay in my head, because I knew that there was some sort of meaning to them. I truly know what you mean, and I have taken that into my life, and I really wanted to thank you...not over Skype or Facebook, but publicly. Please give The Daily Tower another chance, people loved that blog the most, and people were reading, and now some are let down, like me, that they can't receive inspiration from your blogger blogs. Stay true to what you started.
-Lil Miss Epic

"Epic" Song of the Day: Wipe Your Eyes by Maroon 5
Right now I really wanted to talk about what I feel like when I hear this song. When I hear this song, I can feel...not one, but four people wrap their arms around me and tell me it's going to be alright. I can feel James, Dawson, my Heavenly Father, and my Savior. James and Dawson are there because they are here for me here on Earth, and I've been through a lot with both of them. Heavenly Father and my Savior because they care, and they always will care. They both understand, and are there to help me. Through them, I can accomplish anything. Through James and Dawson, I can gain Earthly comfort. All  four of them have been there for me through almost everything. I know that I can rely on them to wipe my eyes if I cry. Thank you.