The Almost Break Up 2

I know what you guys are thinking by the title of this post today. No worries everyone, he didn't break up with me. But, I have a story to tell now. So I guess we should just jump right in!

Dawson decided to call because he wanted to talk to me, and I wanted him to get on my favorite game, Audition, so as he decided to deny and deny and deny getting on, I got madder and madder and madder. I got extra mad when he had told me he was on Audition for an hour earlier that day, but the text message "didn't send" that he was getting on. After that, I got really suspicious of what had happened that entire day. We argued and argued, and I said how I was sad and he wasn't helping any, and so he sent me two texts about how he was wondering if we could talk about it because he knew something was wrong, and then the second one was supposedly from me, and it said "No.." Thinking that didn't sound anything like me, I got even more suspicious of what was going on. I had started bawling over the phone because I was listening to Never Gonna Leave This Bed Acoustic Version cover by James William Facer. I was BAWLING and he wasn't doing anything about it. When I questioned him about it, his response was that he didn't know what to do. Since it was almost 11:30 pm, I decided to get off the phone with him so I didn't get in trouble. After we hung up, Dawson started scaring me.

Dawson sent me a text saying that he threw his phone across the room, and I shouldn't be surprised if I get no reply back. Of course, trying to make sense of that, my text message back was something along the words of: Fine then! Don't talk to me! We basically went back and forth, defending, and explaining why we do the things we do. But then...it happened. Dawson reaches for his knife, and I start to bawl harder than the first Almost Break Up. Over text message I said: Please please please please please don't go don't leave...please please please please. As I continued to bawl, the phone got blurrier and blurrier. I saw one of his text messages, and bawled harder, thinking that it might be one of the last things I'll see from him. He had told me it's the only way out of his "living hell" of a life. Starting to shake, and bawl harder I tried to think of things that I could do better for him. Things that I have done wrong. Things that he hates me for. I ran to the bathroom, and I threw up. I was paranoid. I lay there on the bathroom floor curled up in a bawl saying: please please don't go please don't leave. I need you. Don't leave me. *tears drop on keyboard*

After trying to text James, nothing was working...I decided to get on Facebook messenger, and to my surprise, he was online! I messaged him saying that I needed him, and I tried hard to explain but it wasn't the best explanation in the world. I gave him the short version: "He almost committed suicide And im probably gonna pass out I can't calm down I can't breathe There is no happiness without Daws" James, being a good friend, kept telling me to think of happy thoughts. "Think about Pikachu saying "Pika!" all happy like!" I had told Dawson that I loved him, and he was all like: "Really? Doesn't seem like it!" My heart was breaking, and I no longer knew what I should be thinking. Was Dawson breaking up with me? I confronted the problem by asking him, and he just virtually glared at me and said that he would've already done it if he wanted to. I told James about it, and he said that it was way too harsh. I started thinking too hard. I started thinking that maybe I was the one who didn't deserve him. I told James, and he said that I deserve any guy that I like. Is that really true, though? I keep doubting myself and doubting myself after moments like these happen with the ones I love. I need to regain that Lil' Miss Epic strength that I used to have...Last Summer. James says that it's there, I just need to realize the strength that I have.

Knowing that Dawson wasn't going to apologize or anything anytime soon. I decided to take it into my own hands, and make peace the best that I could. I started by saying stuff like: Remember how nervous we were during our first kiss? It got him to smile just a bit. I started getting One-Two word replies. Those types of replies from him always make me really worried. I told him about it, and he apologizes for that. I decided to do what we usually do. The virtual stuff. "Rhos(rest head on shoulder), grabs hand, cuddles." He decided to do the same, but the guy version i guess? "Paas(Puts arm around shoulders), grabs hand, cuddles." I told him that he was mine, and he said "and ur mine." I fell asleep, and woke up to this exact text message: "I'm so so srry bout last night i really am...~ILoversMyGirl<3" (That last part was his signature. Haha.) I told him that I needed some time to myself, and he totally understood and said. "Kk. Text me whenever, kay?"

So now, I'm thinking that things are fixed and back to normal. I guess I should show you the picture that I edited myself last night. It's my own creation. Please enjoy the dailies.

"Epic" Song of the Day: Comatose by Skillet

"Lil and Epic" Shout-Out of the Day:
Sienna: Thank you so much for helping me last night. It means a lot, it really does. You really did exemplify what a true friend would do in a situation like that, and I thank you so much for helping me the way you did! Thanks for everything. You're amazing. ^^