For my dad, Vaughn.
My dad and I always had a relationship that had its ups and it’s downs. There were always things we didn’t see eye to eye on. But we could always agree on one thing: A good joke.
My dad always had his catchphrases—
When he’d see any of his kids, he’d say
“Hey Baby Hey Baby Hey!”
If he’s missing you, he’ll say
“I want some,” which to anyone else may sound creepy but to us kids it just means he wants time with us.
Instead of asking, How are you, he would ask
“Staying out of trouble?”
If you would respond yes, he’d tell you that it sounds like you’re not having enough fun.
As a kid, my dad tried hard to teach us to be good neighbors and care about others. When we lived in Rexburg, our dad would help us make some cookies, and then we would get some plates and a print out that says “you’ve been boo’d,” and we’d go and drop these off at complete strangers houses. Yes, it was often us that started the “Booing” each year. We even invented new ones for other holidays like Easter or Christmas. My dad taught us to look out for our neighbors, even the ones we didn’t know very well and the ones we didn’t know at all!
In my teenage years, dad and I would go out to eat while he would help with my homework. It was often Denny’s, with an occasional Chinese food restaurant. At these restaurants, we usually did math homework. If I didn’t have any homework, he would encourage me to open up about what subject I might be struggling in. He would ask me if I was staying out of trouble, and how my grades were. Even if I had 100% in the class, he would ask if there were extra credit opportunities available.
He always wanted me not to try my best, but to be my best. High expectations from him made me nervous, but in the end all he wanted for me was success. He drilled this into us at young ages. Always encouraging us to save our money, live well below our means, and not to forget to have fun once in a while. Those are unforgettable lessons in my life. And did I mention this is the man that taught me how to read, tie my shoes, and fold a fitted sheet?
Even in my adulthood, my dad was constantly finding ways to continue being a good parent. He was thrifty. He would go out and buy cheap groceries that were on sale, and then visit and invite me to “shop out of his trunk.” He always had advice, stories, groceries, and plenty of quality time to give out. You need him for something? He’s already on his way!
I have no regrets with my relationship with him. We had plenty of positive interactions. For those of you who don’t know, Jared and I just bought a house! Dad was always encouraging us to invest in property, so this was a very big deal. My last real interaction with him was via FaceTime sharing the big news. He was happy for us. He had no fatherly wisdom to share or questions to ask, just happy for us. I couldn’t have asked for a better final interaction at the time.
The night I went to go say my goodbyes, we waited in the waiting room for 30 minutes outside of the 60 minute window for the visiting hour. I was extremely frustrated, but understood that the hospital workers were trying their best. After all, my dad got one of the last beds in the ICU after having spent a night in the Emergency Rooms. There he was. No catchphrases, just laying down sedated in his hospital bed. I just stayed by his side for a while, and finally said “I love you,” and left him there.
On my way home, I thought about how hollow our goodbye was. He didn’t tell any of his usual jokes, or say any of the usual catchphrases. I was okay with this because I really knew it was goodbye at that point. However, I had a dream that night…
In my dream, my dad said “Hey Baby Hey Baby Hey,” to me and my siblings. He gestured to each of us giving us hugs, and at the end all he said was not to worry about him. After that, I woke up. I knew he was leaving us. A couple hours pass, and we find out my dad is brain dead after his brain had hemorrhaged. It really was time to say goodbye. I was glad I could still do that while my dad was really alive.
Now that he really is gone, I am thankful that he is no longer in suffering. Thankful that he’s no longer going unheard. This is not the end of my dad and his influence on others. He will continue to hold place in our hearts, and even our budgets.
With that, I know that our Savior, Jesus Christ lives. That he loves each and every one of us. That he knows exactly what we’re going through in our trials. I know that we will get to see my dad again one day. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
