2016: Now In My Memories

2016 was actually a really great year for me. So many things happened and I feel like I accomplished a lot, despite the drama and the friends that I lost this year.

To start, in February I was involved with the 2016 All-State High school Mixed Choir. I made so many memories and grew overall as a singer because of my experiences there. Using what I had learned from Mr. Rasmussen and Mr. Burrows, I was able to better those around me and learn from others. I met so many new people and added those perceptions to my overall view of our extremely diverse world.

I got accepted to BYU-Idaho and Idaho State University and made a really big decision by turning down Idaho State University, despite it's amazing Psychology program. I had to follow my heart and Heavenly Father and go to BYU-Idaho. I really was looking forward to going to Idaho State, but I'll have to wait 3 and half years to start my Master's degree there. In hindsight I'm incredibly grateful that I chose to come to BYU-Idaho. I know that I was meant to meet the people here in Rexburg, Idaho and that I am being led in the best direction for my future. I didn't think that I'd do that great in higher education, but I ended my first semester (16 credits) with a 3.8 GPA.

I got my driver's license. After overcoming fear after fear about car crashes and becoming an adult, I finally conquered my fear and got my driver's license with a nearly perfect driving score and a 100% on the written test. A month or two after getting my license, I got my first car. It wasn't a new car. "Debra" has been in the family since I was super little. She's had a taste of a few car accidents, too. She's a Honda Civic EX 2000. She's had a lot of work done on her this year, but she fulfills my needs most of the time. 

I graduated high school. I never thought that I'd leave with a high honors (3.9 GPA overall); especially after nearly failing the 7th grade because online schooling was not my forte back then. High school felt like it would never end, and yet it was done and over with in the blink of an eye. So many people were set in my path to both make my life harder and make my life a lot easier. I was able to really connect with so many people. I definitely made lifetime friends in high school. I don't think that very many people can genuinely say that.

I got to see my heroes perform live and go to Comic Con. Coldplay is honestly my favorite band of all time and to see them was a dream come true. I can honestly say that watching them perform at their A Head Full of Dreams tour was the best night of my life. Comic Con was pretty interesting, too. I didn't expect that many shops to be set up, but I loved it. Looking at everything was my favorite part. We only attended two panels, but that's just because we didn't know anybody else who was going to be there that well. I was satisfied.

I moved out even though I didn't expect to move out at all this year. My initial plan was to live in my parent's basement and commute by bus ride to Idaho State University. Of course, I could've driven to BYU-Idaho, but I made an agreement with my mom that I'd try living outside of the house for at least 2 semesters to see how I like it and get the whole college experience. Living with 5 other girls was a big challenge. I didn't like my roommate. I didn't have a problem with anyone else in our apartment though. I think I'll miss living with them. Some of us even went to a rock opera together: "Deep Love." We'd had movie nights, a couple parties, and even just laughed and hung out in our living room. Moving out was quite the experience and I'm excited to see what journeys me and my next roommates will go on.

Progressive Challenges

I'm home for Thanksgiving this weekend, and I must say that I am very glad to have some much needed alone time. You never really appreciate having your own room until you move into an apartment filled with nothing but estrogen. No offense to my roommates, but I like being by myself. A lot. Even though I have this love to be alone, I also love to hang out with my family.

Since I've been home, I've noticed a lot more family problems than I initially thought we had. There's jealousy, accusation, and even mistrust. It starts to worry me a ton and I think it's something that all of us should address while we have the chance to grow closer as a family. Though none of those areas affect my personal life, it's my job as a peacemaker to make sure nothing goes unresolved. Hopefully we can get these family issues taken care of by the end of the year.

2016 has been a pretty eventful year. My brother got married, another step-brother left on a mission, I graduated, and now my step-sister is getting married next weekend. With everything happening, I think it's easy to take little ways to say "I love you" for granted. As a family, we've gotten so caught up in the events themselves that it's hard to concentrate on supporting and loving each other throughout them.

Despite small little family issues popping up, our family has still continued to want to do good for others. Recently, my mom and I gave Jared $1000 for his mission, and Reino paid for two veterans' Thanksgiving Dinners at Chuck-a-Rama that he had just met. My uncle offered to take me, my dad, my brother, and my sister-in-law to Shilo Inn's Buffet for Thanksgiving. These are the events that just happened recently.

Kind efforts are definitely being made, so the fact that issues pop up despite the good we do is a little scary. Believe it or not, karma isn't the driving force of what happens to us. Although it's good to do nice things, doing nice things doesn't prevent the bad things to happen. I feel like the bad things come when we need a challenge to help us progress.

My family is definitely progressing right now. We're all progressing and moving onto our own lives and the challenges that will help us grow into them. It may be hard, but with each other's love and support we can help each other get through it.

Lil Miss Epic's 4th Anniversary: Life Changes and That's OK!

Back in high school (never thought I'd be able to say that,) I thought for sure that I would struggle a ton here. I thought that I wouldn't be able to adjust at all. However, that's quite the opposite of what's happened during my nine weeks here in college. Throughout this week I've been thinking about what I should write about for my blog's fourth anniversary post. I think the most special thing I could write about this year would be the blessings that come with change.

I relied so much on my parents, and I still do but not as much. When I came up here, I was scared that I wouldn't have as close of a relationship with my family back home, but I find that the time away from them has brought me to appreciate them more fully and acknowledge the things they taught me growing up. Some people don't know how to do their own laundry, wash their own dishes, or even sweep the floor. Since I grew up under my parent's instruction, the transition of learning what to do wasn't really that big.

At first I just pretended that I was home alone, but that didn't actually work out well considering I have all of these roommates that are all around me. I was super scared to socialize with them at first because I didn't know if we would get along or hate each other or something. Then, I started pretending that I was on some weird school field trip like the Seattle Music Tour back in early 2015. That didn't exactly work either considering we didn't do any sight-seeing, and I didn't really have any friends up here. I've learned a lot since coming here. I've learned that I need to learn patience and love others just the way they are, regardless of whether or not they have some big issues in their lives that they need to fix. I've learned that change is okay and that it's inevitable. I've also learned that I'd rather have friendship in quality rather than quantity.

I can't imagine my life being any different than it is now. I actually like it here now. I'm used to it, and my apartment feels like home. Sure, my "home life" may not be the best here at college, but it's better than living in a box or living reliant in everything on my parents. College is interesting. You meet new people with the intention of actually being friends, not just because you sit by them. Professors actually treat you like adults. Anyone that's way older than you doesn't treat you any different because we're all in different categories when it comes to our degree. We're different but equal in the sight of others. There's no extreme judgment here, at least none that really comes to mind.

Things have changed for me and that's okay. I'm still the same person. I'm on my way to bigger and better things. I have a plan now and I'm determined to do something with it. Whether or not that plan leads to success or failure depends on my future and where life takes me. All I can do now is be prepared and take a step with faith hoping and praying that I am going in the right direction. Life is different now, but different isn't bad.

A Place To Crash

Wow. There's a lot going on in my life right now. I didn't think anything would happen with my parents when I moved out, but a week or so ago I found out some pretty big news. It's shocking, so take off your socks so that I don't knock them off.

They're actually thinking of moving to somewhere hot during the cold weather. Vegas or Arizona specifically.

At first I thought that they were kidding. I laughed and played it off as a joke when they accidentally mentioned it around me. They keep talking about it. They're actually serious. They even said that me and Jared can have the house when they leave and we need a place to crash during school. It's crazy to think, but I can actually stay in my home ward during my future college life while I'm married.

I keep wondering if this is one of their plans that they never go through with, but they keep bringing up different plans that they have and I'm not sure that I'm ready for them to leave me quite yet. I don't know who all knows what their plan is, but I'm pretty sure it's on the down low. I haven't even told a lot of my friends. I'd be surprised if my siblings knew because they were keeping it from me.

Adulthood hits when life moves on for those around you as you move on with yours. Everything changes. Not even parents stay the same! At least not their location. It just didn't sound anything like something they would consider doing. They say it would only be during the cold months that they would pack up all the dogs and move, but I can honestly see them staying put and not coming back to their little home in Grant.

I feel sad that I have to say goodbye to them, but if it's just during those cold months than when I move back to Grant during my off-track I'll only live alone for 2 months, so I guess it isn't too bad. It also depends on when they plan on packing up and moving. I would have to guess that it's either going to happen around December 2017 or December 2018.

There's A Future Ahead

I don't normally talk about relationships on this blog anymore, but I thought I'd share some of my experiences lately.

As you guys may know, I have been in a relationship with Jared for over a year now, and we're pretty serious about getting married some day. Last night we expressed some concerns about our future, and it helped me realize that I'm an adult now. I could have kids 5 years from now. I could be married to Jared in less than 5 years from now!

In the moment, I felt a little overwhelmed over the plans we were talking about. I was thrilled that he was talking about our future like that. I was so happy that he was actually thinking and talking to me about our future and what we should do now to prepare for that. He was serious for that. It's not like I haven't talked about marriage with a guy before, but I've never talked to one who was genuinely serious about it. I guess that's the difference between a high school relationship and a relationship in the adult world.

We talked about his mission and my classes, and what I needed to do now to ensure that I don't have to go to Pocatello for my Psychology classes. Hopefully things can work out, and we can live in Rigby, so that he can travel to Rexburg for BYU-I, and I can travel to Idaho Falls for ISU. Where would kids fit in with all of that? We discussed that I could be a part-time student while Jared finishes up his schooling, so that I can take care of kids, the apartment/home that we will live in, and work on getting school through my website designing.

After that conversation, I walked up to my apartment feeling shocked. I felt a little excited because it's what I want. But I still felt a little bit overwhelmed. That would be my life in less than a decade. I remember imagining what it would be like to start dating boys, and now I'm sitting here planning on doing everything that I can to raise a kid.

Overall, I'm just stuck deep in thought. I have so many conflicting thoughts about everything. I think it's alright to have your first kid when you're just a college grad (graduating from BYU-I, I would be 22, but if I did full-time at ISU for 2 years, I'd be 24). It's still not very old. I think it's acceptable. However, I don't think it's right to just flat out say that I'm not having kids until I graduate. It's important to have kids. Kids should take priority over everything in life. Sure, we'd need to be financially stable. If we can't support each other, than who says that we can support a baby? I think that having a kid is overall just something that we'd need to pray about together when we're married. I'd rather take that question to the Lord than feel all this doubt and conflicting thoughts.

All I can do now is think about what I need to do to prepare now so that I'll be ready for what's next in my future.

I Believe in Candy Runs

It was 3:40 when we left that day. The school bell just rang, and Tyler and I were exhausted from putting up with all of our teacher’s lectures. We decided it was time to go on a candy run. We had gone on several before, but when we left the high school parking lot we knew that this one was going to be legendary. It was just me, Tyler, and the roaring sound of “Mambo Number 5” by Lou Bega pouring out the windows of her van. It was my turn to use paper money and her turn to use coins, so I pulled out my wallet to reveal how much money we could spend. She pulled out her change and we counted it all up, giving ourselves a spending limit of five dollars. Luckily Broulim’s was right around the corner from our high school, so by the time we had parked we knew what our game plan was going to be. “Get in and get out,” I repeated as we hopped out of our car seats and walked inside.

By the time we got into the candy aisle, we’d always get indecisive as to what we should buy, and start to compromise our spending limit because of all the wonderful choices they had. Bulky candy bags were our favorites because it meant more time together and more candy for the both of us. Sometimes the candy we would grab was super sweet and other times we would grab candy that was rich and filling. What candy we grabbed really depended on what we were going to talk about that day. If one of us needed a rant session or just a good cry, we’d grab the chocolate. If we were planning on talking about how annoying some aspects of our lives were, we’d grab something super sweet or something tangy and sour. I wouldn’t take those calories back for anything. We knew it was super unhealthy to be going on these candy runs, but it was also super healthy for us emotionally.

The candy runs of our senior year are hard to drown out. We spent so much time talking about life, boys, drama, and especially how far we had come since Elementary school. As the sun began to set, we would ponder about the past and congratulate each other on how far we had come in life. The bag of candy would continue to disappear as we shared everything that has happened to us recently and our feelings about it all. The candy tasted so good that we would never want it to run out.

We’d sit and talk in her van all day if we could, but there were times when the candy runs just weren’t going to happen because there was work to be done. Even now, as a college student, I would never take back the candy runs that I spent with my best friend, Tyler. I believe in candy runs. Sharing feelings and life-long dreams with each other made the experience sweet, rich, and most of all, priceless.

False Expectations Led to My Humility

The college life has certainly been nothing I could have expected. I fully expected to have tons of free time and hardly any homework because that's what high school was like by the end of my Senior year. At college, however, you are expected to do pre-class, post-class, homework, and study. It's certainly been a big change to adjust from a Summer with nothing but down-time, to a Fall with none.

My first couple weeks were very stressful. I felt like I couldn't do anything but study and work on all of my homework. I created a task board out of sticky notes and my cork board. I love how useful it is because it feels great to rip a sticky note off of the board by the end of the week and crumple it up because you finished what you were supposed to before the deadline! This task board is my best friend because it's right there in front of my desk, where I always look-- a constant reminder of how much crap I have to do this week.

My worst fears came true. I got lost. Multiple times. That's okay. I found my way back to class and to my apartment. The scariest part was that I was late to my first ever college class and it started at 12:45, so I didn't have a good excuse. My brother was supposed to pick me up for class (like he said he would half an hour before it started) and he never showed up, so eight minutes before class, I rushed out of my apartment and just kind of followed people into the Smith building and someone redirected me to what room I needed to be in. I had no idea where the Smith building even was, so it was super helpful to kind of just end up there.

Classes here expect a lot of you as an individual. Not only do you need to bring your intelligence to the classroom, but you need to bring your life experiences and your testimony. I'm a little shy when you meet me in person, so it's been quite difficult adjusting to these brand new people. In high school it was a lot easier because you at least knew one other person and were able to slightly crawl out of that shell. At college you're supposed to come to class out of your shell. No comfort zones because we're all brothers and sisters here.

At first everything started to go wrong here, but then after I felt the prompting to start a gratitude journal, everything started to go well. I finally started getting more free time and time to visit with friends and family and get ahead on some of my homework. That says a lot about how important it is to ask for help when you can't accomplish something on your own and be grateful for the help that you receive.

Since using my gratitude journal, I've been given a lot more free time, and was able to decide for myself how to use that time to benefit my life. Luckily, I know my limits and was able to use it in the most efficient way for me. I used that time to spend it with my family, my friends, my man, and to get a little ahead on upcoming classes.

Changing Into Cedar

So I'm all moved in at my apartment, and I've met a lot of great people so far. Coming here in the first place was a trial in it of itself because on the drive over, I was crying and having a panic attack, and talking to myself, saying that it would all be okay and that I'd still have a parent with me, my heavenly father would be watching over me. I'd basically be living over at his house if I went to BYU-Idaho. So far, that's what it's felt like. Not trying to say that I don't feel like an adult, but life here is truly centered around Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. You can feel the spirit anywhere, and I haven't even gone to my first day of class.

So many things have happened because they just needed to. This girl that was going to be in a different apartment wanted to be in my apartment with her friend. She complained to the manager, and I basically got asked if I wanted to switch apartments. I'm glad that I wasn't hesitant at all to say yes. I moved in next door to the apartment I was supposed to be in, and I got the last bed available, but quite honestly, I wouldn't want it any other way. I love everything about my side of the room besides the white walls and the uncomfortable bed.

I was so nervous when it came to meeting my roommates, but they've all been very kind. The last girl to actually move in was my section leader in From the Heart choir, so that made me feel like my prayers had been answered a little. I asked for somebody near me that would make me feel a little more comfortable. But honestly, I love everyone here. The other girl in my room loves Rarity, the girl across the hall is just fun to talk to and is with my section leader (who also loves Big Brother) and the two girls in the other room are cool too! One of them loves Coldplay, and attended that concert in Salt Lake. The other girl offered me pizza the first night and is just so sweet. Even though our age differences are very major here in the "Pent-House," we all feel and treat each other the same way.

When we moved all of my stuff in, I wasn't confident on how I was going to arrange everything. My mom and Christen left! I thought they would help me put things away, but it was all up to me, and I think I got it all organized the way I want it.

This evening I was reading my scriptures and I opened up to 2 Nephi 19, but it was referring to Isaiah 9, so I jumped back to that chapter and I came across this verse...

"The bricks are fallen down, but we will build them with hewn stones; the sycamores are cut down, but we will change them into cedars." - Isaiah 9:10

Bek has fallen down. We will build them with hewn stones. We will build her up again, but better. This scripture is extremely important to me right now. I thought that moving out was going to be the hardest thing in the world. I do miss my bed a little bit, but I'm finding a little piece of home here. I'm finding peace. I'm studying with people who share my beliefs and I believe that I'm here for a reason. I'm here to change into a better person through the small little things and the people that I'm surrounding myself with.
It took me a while to realize what this meant and why it was important and why I might be reading it. I began to see the symbolism beneath the objects. The bricks are fallen down.

One thing I've pondered a lot over this weekend is being in the right place at the right time. I read in a class syllabus that we're allowed only 3 tardies because we should always be to class on time. I couldn't help but think about how that might relate to life in general. We say we'll be there on time in the right place, but how often do we find ourselves lollygagging behind the group, or ditching those plans to do something else that is less than beneficial to our overall growth? I feel that right now I'm in the right place at the right time. I feel as though I was meant to be with these people right here and right now. They're here and they're quite honestly an answer to my prayer. A comfort in letting me know that everything is going to be okay.

Adventure of a Lifetime

My stuff. It's all packed up now. I'll move in on Friday. Saying goodbye continues to be strange, but I've learned more about where I'll be living. I know where my room is, and I know who two of my roommates are, and met one of them a week or so ago. I think me and my mom have scraped together enough money to pay for my first semester's rent. I might even have enough to go buy the things I need to move in with on move in day.

It's definitely weird watching all the friends I have that are younger than me go back to school, while I sit on my butt and play video games and design websites. I'm both jealous and entirely not. I'm not jealous because I've already been there, but I'm jealous because they're there with their friends that they get to see every single day. I'm here by myself, trying to make plans that end up falling through.

I'm just glad that I got to experience what I did in the past couple weeks. I got to see my heroes-- Coldplay perform in Salt Lake City on August 31, 2016. 

The part that was perfect about this concert was that I was originally in Row 17, but after "Bishop Briggs" performed (She was amazing, look her up.) I got offered to move up by this kind couple who had friends in another row. We gladly agreed to switch seats. We moved up to Row 5! I was so close to the stage that I could see Coldplay's sweat fall. This concert was the best night ever, and definitely my new happy place, even though this was a once in a lifetime opportunity for me.

That's not all we did that week though, we also went to Comic Con the next day!

Among the Mark Hamil and William Shatner panels, we also went to see all the vendors who were selling everything you could imagine. I was amazed, but there was even a Swan Princess booth, and I got to meet the Executive Producer of the series, Seldon Young. (Swan Princess is my favorite childhood movie, definitely a classic) I got a few photo ops, but definitely a good time. If you ever get the chance to go to Comic Con make sure you go all the days, bring a battery to charge your phone, bring someone you love, bring plenty of money (I only bought two things), and expect to pay a pedicab to bring you back to your car (our feet were so tired afterwards)

Move Along

So I've started actually packing today. I discovered that the only days I would have to pack to leave the house are the days leading up to my Coldplay concert on the 31st, so until then, I'll be packing up my room to leave this place. It's really weird. I've only had to pack up and move a handful of times before this.

The first was when I had to move to my dad's apartment in Rexburg. I didn't take very many of my things because I wasn't given any time at all. Instead, we shopped at D.I. for the clothes I needed. I was only in 3rd grade, so it wasn't too much of a big deal to get up and leave like that. However, this was my first time moving out, so I was very homesick and missed my first home.

The second time was when me and my brother went up to live with my mom for the Summer in Utah. We didn't know it would just be for a Summer, but my mom bought a house and we stayed up there with her over the Summer. I remember bringing two or three boxes with me to Utah. In that house, me and my brother never really had actual mattresses. We slept on inflatable mattresses that we had to blow up every night because my mom didn't want them out during the day.When we lived there, my sister was still really sick and that's part of the reason why we had to move back to Idaho. She was having some serious mental issues.

The third time we moved was when me and my brother went back to my dad's, I brought only a handful of things with me and left some of my stuff with my mother because I figured I would continue to live there off and on. At this time, my dad had started to date other women and found somebody he liked. He then married her, and we had to move out into an actual house.

The fourth time we moved was to this big pink house, it was one of my favorite places to live just because downstairs there was a little door that me and my little kid friends would go into to play. I kept all my stuffed animals and books down there. It was truly my happy place, and where I would go to get away. My barbies were the only toys I kept upstairs in my room. I had a big doll house in there along with all my hand-me-down barbie dolls. That was definitely one of my favorite toys back then.

The fifth time we moved was out of my mother's house in Utah and into an even bigger home, still in Utah. This house is the biggest home I have ever lived in, and yet I enjoyed it the least. I was starting to get sick in this house. My mom would never pay attention to me because she was off dating guys on motorcycles and such, so me and my siblings would stay home. I got an ear infection, and even though I'd cry about it almost non-stop because of the pain I was in, I kept getting ignored. I was miserable. I just wanted to go to the doctor. Desperately. Finally my mom noticed how much pain I was in and took me to the doctor to clean out my ear infection. Things started to look up from there. I started to enjoy the house a lot more. The coolest thing about that house was the basement because I got my own room, there was an X-Men arcade game, and a GIANT flat-screen TV. It was so big that it took up the entire wall. Me and my brother would stay up late and watch it until we fell asleep on the couch.

The sixth time we moved out was when my dad got a divorce with his 2nd wife, and we moved into a new complex. I briefly lived here, considering I usually would house-jump during school time so I could go to Rigby. I would jump from my grandma's house to my cousin's, and back to my neighbor's house. I was very welcome at each home, but it never felt the same as my little home in Grant. I remember feeling very very homesick in this apartment.

Finally, I was able to move back to my real home in Grant. I missed this house so much, and I haven't left it for years. To move out is very bittersweet. I'll be leaving behind a great home. One that I've spent most of my life loving and missing. To move out will be a new adventure, and will mark my ninth time moving, but this time I won't be moving in with family. I'll move in with strangers. I'll still have all of my family nearby, but this is a big step for me. Especially considering how much I love to live here in Grant with my mom. I'll be coming back to this house eventually, so it's not like I'm leaving it forever. I won't even be gone for a year. Just a couple semesters, and I'll be back home, but never permanently.

Play By Faith

So I'm going through some boxes, thinking of what to bring with me and what not to bring with me. In reality, it probably doesn't matter much what I bring since my parents only live 30 minutes away and my brother even less. Jordan and his wife said that they're thinking of making me a spare key so that I can come over and chill with them whenever I'd like. I'm so glad to be a part of the family. It's a big deal to me when they invite me to spend time with them, and they always make me feel welcome. And without realizing it, I do the same for them.

Not only do they accept me for who I am, but they love my significant other as well. What I thought was going to be a sibling night with my brother and his wife turned into me, my brother, his wife, Jared, my step-sister, and her boyfriend. They make Jared into more than a boyfriend, they make him a part of our family too. Jordan and Christen are honestly relationship goals.

In my head I try to form the perks to moving out, and quite honestly, living at home sounds a little more appealing, considering I'm more introverted than extroverted. Moving out and getting to live with 5 strangers is kind of a big step out of my comfort zone. However, if I never try, I'll never know what it's like to live on my own out here. If I absolutely can't stand it, then I'll move back to Rigby and drive up to campus when I need. I think that it'll be a change that I think I can get used to.

At Institute last night we were playing volleyball, and when our team made the comment that we couldn't see well because the sun was in our eyes, one of our teammates said to "play by faith." That comment really resonated with me. It's weird, but after he said that, all of us started getting better. I know that he was probably being silly when he said it, but in life that's kind of what we need to do. As long as we "play by faith," everything will be okay and will start getting better than it did without it.

Lesson Learned: Everything is well played when played by faith.

Self-Evaluation Time! I need to be better at playing by faith, and trusting that everything will work itself out. I'm the person who thinks everything needs to planned to death so that we can get it right, but now I find myself with a bit of a lack of faith when it comes to planning these events and them working out. I worry, worry, worry and worry more that something will go wrong and I won't be prepared for something, but as long as I play by faith, everything will work out. No more worrying about adjusting to college life. I've got God on my side. For me, that's enough for me to play it by faith.

See You In Three?

So I finally got a job. It's kind of, sort of related to the blog, so I might as well mention it. I'm officially a website designer! I get paid $150-200 depending on complexity. If it's a complex project then I charge $20 and hour. Here are some of my projects:

idahojewelspoodles.com
redcarpetdoodles.com
sterlingbrookdoodles.com

Finally, something that I like to do added with actually getting paid and being able to pay for my own education. I already know I'm going to be a starving college student up on campus. Hopefully I'll get some help from my mother. Hopefully I get enough customers to help me through my first year of college.

In other news, my makeshift closet collapsed/broke and I have nowhere to put my clothes. That makes me kind of excited to move out because I'll have a real closet! I'm just hoping that I end up with a real closet here at my mom's before it's time for me to move out.

Adulting is hard so far. You kids who are going back to school this month are kind of lucky. Maybe I'll like it more when I start getting the hang of it. Schoolwise, I may be more lucky. I have classes from around 8 to 2 every day and then I get to spend the rest of the day how I'd like. Probably doing laundry or something, but the difference is: I have to pay for everything.

On the bright side, I have a free class in Rigby every Thursday night. I'll still be coming to Rigby for Institute. I'll carpool with my friends. Maybe I can set up some other day where I can come home to spend time with my mom and switch out some of my clothes on some other day of the week. I should probably set up some times to hang out with my boyfriend before he leaves on his mission, too.

Rachel moved last week, which was pretty sad for me. She gave Jared and I some feathers because she's a hunter, but man. She hasn't been gone very long and I miss her a ton. We keep telling each other, 3 years maximum until we're all together again because of her and Jared's missions. I'll probably go visit Rachel during an off-semester up in Tennessee when she's off her mission, and I'll help her move back up to Idaho when it's time for her to go back to college.

College is going to be tough. I'm going up there with hardly any friends. The friends I do have won't even be roommates or sharing a major with me or even having the same semester-track. Hopefully I'll be good at making friends up there.

Lately I've been having some self-esteem problems. In the back of my head, I feel like somebody started a rumor or something about me because I went to go see one of my choir friends open up their mission call, and everybody there except for that friend, ignored me and wouldn't talk to me at all. I thought that these choir people were my friends. But now that we're graduated, it doesn't seem to matter. I don't seem to matter to them. I don't know what's going on, all I can do is try to stay positive, despite the fallen friendships I may have. All I can say is that I know where some of my friends' loyalties lie.

Disowned, But Accepted By Other Family

All things considered, the past few days have kind of been a downer overall. To sum it up, my sister pretty much disowned me. Long story short, she hates that I'm still a Mormon and that I refuse to back down from my religion. I'm just lucky that my brother went through the same thing a few months ago so that I've got somebody that I can relate to.

I went to go hang out with Kiley the other day, and boy did we have fun. We hit up the mall and bought all sorts of stuff from Hot Topic and Bath and Body Works and I got myself a few things that I had been looking for-- in both college and fandoms. We talked a couple of things out considering what I had been through and that was nice. I needed that girl-shopping time.

After hanging out with Kiley, I went to pick up Jared and we went to my last From The Heart choir meeting. We recorded all of our songs and Jared was in the back sleeping through it, or at least trying to. Overall From The Heart choir was pretty great, and I'd do it again, so long as I'm not doing it on my off-semester because it consists of 30 minute drives to and from Rexburg every Thursday and every Sunday. I won't be going to it this Fall, but I might consider joining it again, come Winter semester.

When we were finally done recording, I shoved Jared awake and we went over to my brother's house to talk about what had happened. We were going to go see a movie together as kind of a double-date, but this quickly became more important to all of us. I showed my brother my phone and he and his wife read the conversation, giving commentary about the flaws of it all. They were also clearly frustrated that she had said these things to me. Again, very personal so I won't get too much into it.

After talking about feelings about our lost sister who believes differently than we do, we made waffle-sticks and just talking and joking about different things to take our minds off of what had happened a day previous. I love hanging out with the "Phillips" family (Jordan and Christen) because they make me feel so included and loved and not looked down on-- at all! Even Jared had tons of fun with us, and he's not even a real part of our family yet. Just a close boyfriend/best friend.

The next few days were pretty hard. I wanted to be completely alone, but at the same time I was lonely and needed a couple of my friends that doubled as family. As a result, I ended up hunting Pokemon with Rachel Lau (We're Team Instinct) and hanging out with Jared a ton. By a ton, I mean four nights in a row. He even bought me food a couple of times.

Family, to me, has brought on a whole new meaning. To me, family means never abandoning each other and loving each other unconditionally. My ideal family member would always be available to talk to no matter the problem. You can tell family anything. You are able to share your hopes and dreams without their judgmental opinions. To me, family may tease you but they'll always have your back and will always be proud of you and your accomplishments.

Some friends are just family because that's just how it is. I may say that Jared isn't a real part of our family yet, but he really is. He fits all the qualifications except for relation, and he can become family if we ever get married. As for Rachel Lau, she fits a lot of the qualifications. Even though she teases Jared and I a lot, we know that she loves us and is proud of our accomplishments. These two are so close to me that they're family.

Overall, everyone on Earth is related somehow. But we can determine for ourselves whether or not we want to be a family together. That's where agency comes in. My sister, Rachel Trueman who "loves me dearly" decided she didn't want to be my sister anymore. I, in return, have decided that Rachel Lau and Jared Antis are close enough to be considered family, along with many of my other close friends. In all truthfulness, I know that the best family I can rely on right now is my Heavenly Father because he's the one that will be with me through it all, so long as I keep faith in him and acknowledge his works in our lives.

Family accepts me for who I am. And for that, I am grateful.

What Counts?

Hey friends!

I've signed up for all of my classes and I've got a car all to myself that I inherited from my dad's side of the family. It's our old family car that we've had since I was five years old. It's pretty cool that I get to drive it nowadays. Also, my keyboard showed up for my surface. So far, it's working pretty well and I love the color. It's bright blue and I couldn't be more pleased with it. I'm thinking about getting a wireless mouse for it when I head up to college. It might be easier that way rather than having a mouse pad.

My recent concern has been-- what friends am I taking with me into these college years? Recently, one of my guy friends reached out to me and said that he was going to BYU-I this fall! I referred him to my building of course because he was still apartment hunting, and it sounds like we may or may not be hanging out more come this fall, if we're in the same building and all. Of course the main point of moving out on your own is to make new friends. Especially as a brand new incoming freshman.

Another problem has been the Dress Code for this school. I'm finding more and more that I don't have the proper wardrobe going into college. I've gone to Walmart, Plato's Closet, and Runway to find a couple new outfits for college because what I have won't suffice for what's up ahead. Apparently I'm not allowed to wear T-shirts up on Campus. So that's kind of a problem seeing as T-Shirts are basically the only thing I own. So I bought a bunch of long-skirts and a couple of dressy/button-up shirts and I need some longer dresses for college, too. The biggest temptation has been all these cool T-shirts I've found while shopping for clothes that match my dress code. Or finding good dressy shirts that aren't exactly modest. Thank goodness for shrugs and undershirts and other modest adaptations to what would otherwise be qualified as immodest.

My friend Rachel, who's moving in a couple weeks (SAD!), told me that I should invest in buying a ring so that I don't get hit on as much in college, so I might just get a cheap little ring to put on one of my fingers to reduce the amount of potential flirts who are faulty ring-checkers. It'd be preferred to get a silver band with a green emerald as the stone. Dating will be a trial up on campus. Especially with a boyfriend leaving on a mission soon. Up until he leaves, I can't accept anybody who asks me out. Not that I'd be remotely interested with him still being here anyways. Any dating opportunities I want to give to first and primarily Jared. He works a ton, so he's hardly free, so my Saturdays, (if and when I'm free) we'll have to hang out.

Institute, on the other hand, has been very nice despite not having Jared there with us. I've continued to stay close to my friends from RHS, and been able to keep that Seminary-esque atmosphere. For anybody thinking about Institute, there is no question. Institute is amazing. If there's anything that will anchor you in this wonderful LDS church and build you up to be a spiritual giant, it's this class. With rotating instructors, we learn more and get multiple testimonies with each and every meeting. It's not just about all the things you've learned about in Sunday School. This class builds on prior knowledge and helps you to learn a million more new things! I completely recommend this class for anybody who wants to get more out of their Wednesday nights.

On another note, road trips have also been a thing. I drove my dad to Hailey, Idaho the other day for a business trip and also drove to Ogden, Utah with my mom yesterday. I've come to really like road trips because they help you to really get to know the person you're traveling with. So it's been a blessing to drive with both of my parents on these trips. I got to open up to them and talk and listen to all sorts of music. Thanks mom and dad.

Speaking of family, my brother, his wife, and I have gotten pretty good at going to the temple on a regular basis. We go multiple times a month! I really love the way that building makes me feel inside. I forget myself when I'm in the temple and it becomes about whoever I'm doing baptisms for. I really feel their presence and the veil becomes thin in the temple. It truly is a house of learning and realization. I always leave the temple feeling happy and peaceful. I look forward to the day when I get to be sealed to my eternal companion there.

With all of these experiences, it's easy to lose sight of what's really counts but I've found that as long as you're continually centering yourself in what's really important, you're sure to win. Sunday, I was the only one who got up in time to go to church. So I went by myself. Normally, I would just go back to bed after seeing that nobody else was up, or if I really felt like I needed the sacrament that day, I'd text a friend and ask if they could come pick me up. But no. I came just by myself. It was a little lonely at first, but as soon as the meetings started I felt the presence of the spirit with me because that's what counts. 

What really counts in your life? For me, it's been this gospel, family, my education, temple visits and quality relationships.

Who is She?

The lack of a keyboard for my new laptop shouldn't stop me from at least posting once this month. I'm sorry for the lack of posting in May, but there was so much going on.

I'm finally an adult and I have wanted to get some things off of my chest. Especially seeing as this is my public-diary. I try not to hide things from you guys. I make sure that it's never intentional if I do.

I was never the cool girl in school. I was never popular or most likely to succeed or anything like that. In fact, I think I was more of a girl to sit back and be forgotten. I wouldn't be surprised how many people saw me walk across the stage at graduation and thought to themselves "who is she?"

Do we often find ourselves asking that? Have you thought to look at somebody else and imagine what they could possibly be going through? Do we even care at the very thought? Well, my future profession requires that I care about each and every persons feelings. I should be considering their back stories and how they came to where they are in life now.

Did I do my job in highschool? To an extent. I tried my best to reach out to those I felt needed my help. I learned so much and hurt myself in the process of that learning. That's why I'm going to college. I need to learn how to actually apply past to present behavior and how to help these people better. I want to be a therapist when I grow up. And if I can't do that, then I want to be one heck of a mother that can apply that degree to that job in life just as well. I want to be taken more seriously and I think that this degree that I'm walking towards is a big step towards that.

Now, thinking in the present, I feel like I haven't prepared enough for college. Like I don't feel ready at all. But in hindsight, I've already prepared quite a lot. I signed on an apartment in Rexburg, signed up for English 101 and Math 108, and got a car to call my own.

I'm still without a job. I haven't had much luck. I tried to get a job at this animal shelter, but it's been weeks since I've been in and they still haven't contacted me. However, I do have an on and off job as a house keeper. I worked just yesterday $10 an hour for 3 hours on this one house in Rigby with 3 of my family members. It was exhausting work to sanitize their home but it got me money to my name!

Summer has been exhausting so far. Emotionally, I feel like I'm losing friend after friend. However I feel like some friendships are remaining just as pure as before. This transition has been kind of hard on me so far, but I still feel like I have a few people I can go to for help or just to help brighten my day. Thanks for sticking around. You're real pals.

Physically, I feel exhausted this Summer as well. As stated earlier I worked on sanitizing a house yesterday and it was exhausting. We bleached nearly the entire home and afterward I just wanted to shove an entire pizza in my body. But the thing is... I'm on a diet. I'm on the diet mostly because I'm trying to support my mom in losing weight, but I could lose a few pounds myself too. It's really hard to just eat the same meals for lunch and dinner for 23 days straight.

Anyways. My love life. (Even though I try not to talk on it on here anymore.) It got a little rough around Prom. But we worked things out and prayed and talked with our bishops again and everything seemed to be alright. Since then we've just been growing closer and closer emotionally. We keep talking about the future of our relationship and where it may take us. And to be perfectly honest, I'm so excited. And more than anything, I'm proud to be with such an amazing guy. Seeing him grow has been such a great experience and I hope that I will be able to mature enough to be the kind of woman he wants in his life for time and all eternity.

With all of that said I think we're caught up on the basics of the past two months. Hopefully there will be more regularly posted soon.

Keep reaching out and inspire your inspirations.

Diving, Trusting, Strengthening

I knew it would be hard. This adulthood thing. That's why I decided to take my first dive into the pool of my future. I told my mom about two weeks ago that I wanted to go into the DMV to take my written test. I had been studying for it for months... years, even. I knew that I could do it, I just was scared of what might come from it, getting a little wet. Being expected to take the entire plunge.

The next thing I knew, I had dipped my toe in the water by taking the written test and getting 100% of the questions I was given correct. I wanted to take my driving test immediately after that, so I aimed for the next day at 7 pm. Once I passed that, I wanted to come in and pick up my license the very next day. That same day, I went up to Rexburg with my brother to audition for a choir up on campus called "From the Heart." Little did I know, that this would house some of the most spiritual learning experiences I've endured in a choral experience.

I made it into "From the Heart," as an Alto II. It was a little odd jumping all the way down from Soprano I/0 in Troylairs and Chamber Singers to From the Heart Choir, but I think I'm starting to like where I am as a musician. Callbacks on Saturday were interesting, as I beat out multiple college students who were looking to find their place in the choir, as our rehearsal was that Sunday. I didn't expect to make it into this choir full of college students. I don't know if it was just because I didn't feel like I measured up, or if it was because of my age, but I made it regardless of any of the doubts I had about myself.

I've learned a lot about myself this past week. Some of it I already knew because of my friends, family, and church leaders telling me that I could do, but I can do anything, so much as I dip my toes into the water and wade into adulthood, in a way that I'll be comfortable to dive in deeper. Leaving my childhood behind isn't easy. I've had to put away a lot of my old habits, and start doing more things that'll make me a better person all together. We should never stop improving though, so I guess that's a really good thing, regardless.

There's always going to be the things and the people that I'll love unconditionally. I won't get into what trials I've been enduring lately, but I will say that I love my gospel, and I would never forsake my God just to please somebody else who loves me very much. He is my Heavenly Father, and I trust in him to direct my paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6) I trust that he has given me the abilities that I need to use in this life, and has provided a way for me to attain the other abilities I will need. It's all thanks to my Heavenly Father that I've made it as far as I have.

For those who ask why I'm so happy all the time, it's because I try not to acknowledge the devils and demons that are hanging on my back every single day of my life. Believe me, I have things going on. I choose to ignore the temptations and the bad things that they whisper in my ear. Sometimes, they weaken me when I have my guard let down, but that's what my friends and church leaders here on Earth are for. We're all here to help strengthen each other. Whether I have little or a lot of Satan's force on me, I know that I can rely on my gospel to help me not to stoop to his level, with the help of my friends and family of course.

So far, my understanding of adulthood has been this: things don't get easier. In fact they get harder and harder, but the point of life is to be happy and let your trials strengthen you, rather than ruin you. You've been given lemons, are you going to make lemonade, or are you going to let life squirt you in the face with lemon juice?

You've Always Got The Memories

I thought I knew and learned a bunch walking into third trimester, about myself, of course. But wow. I'm learning so much and it's just the first week. I've learned tons about myself and what it takes to have faith and take that big step of finding my own power in a world of give and take. Life in it of itself is super challenging and it's not going to get any easier for me, or anybody else for that matter. I'll meet people along the way that will make the journey more bearable, but I know that Satan will never stop trying to make me fail.

It's hard seeing old friends slip away from you, especially when they've been there with you all along. You end up growing out of each other or parting ways in general. It gets a little too much. But it'll be all okay because there is one who will have your back at all times and in all places. Heavenly Father has our back. You don't have to be afraid when he's the one who's in control of what's happening, aside from other's free agency. I've learned a ton this week about that. 

Looking back it's really hard seeing who I've lost, who I've forgotten, and who I'm going to have to say goodbye to. However, I know that God will be there to hold my hand as long as I'm willing to take that first step forward. I've got those friends that promise to be there for a lifetime, and I promise to do the same for them, too. But in an eternal perspective, it's more important to be with him. I've had so many friends who have promised to be there always, even when times get tough, but time and time again our friendship has broken apart. 

People may say that I've just got trust issues when it comes to that, but I've learned a thing or two about losing people and I've got the blog posts to testify of that. Looking at my parents is also a pretty good example of showing that we won't have the same friends as we grow older. There's a few that stick around if you're lucky, but it's never the same once you get out of high school and especially when you get out of college and start settling down. 

Whether it be in your memories, your friendship, or your companionship, hold onto me. Hold onto the lessons we've learned together. Hold onto the good times we've shared. Hold onto everything we had then and now. These are the times we'll look back on and think about how if we did the slightest thing different, we could've ended up in a different place. Please remember, you're not alone. You've always got your memories.

Change. It's Inevitable.

Wow. 2nd Trimester is finally coming to a close. Do you know what that means? That was officially my last full high school trimester since us Seniors leave a little bit earlier than everybody else. I officially, as of today, have 90 days until I graduate. This school year has actually been kind of difficult emotionally, but I swear I wouldn't have been able to get through it if it wasn't for my true friends who stuck it through with me and let me help them out when they needed support. There were several times that I felt that I couldn't come to anybody for the help I needed, but a hand full of my friends were there for when I just needed to talk to somebody about something.

I know that on this blog I talk about friendships a lot, but it's one of those things that everybody can relate to unless they've been stabbed in the back multiple times by their "best friend." Well, I have news for you all. It gets better from where you are. Even though me and the rest of Class of 2016 are graduating and leaving each other, we're about to find new people, strengthen the friendships we already have, and figure out what life is really about. We think we have a general idea of what it might be like, but I guess you never really know until you jump in and do it.

Life is about to get super difficult. A lot of my friends will leave on their missions and I'll be attending BYU-Idaho with a couple of my friends that I have now. I'll be writing my missionaries, fulfilling whatever callings I end up with, and trying to get along with my roommates up on BYU-Idaho's campus. Everything's going to change, and that's inevitable. The best thing to do in this situation is look forward to it rather than try to push it away like I've been doing. While I've been pushing my future away in my mind, I've been making it so hard to adjust and become comfortable with the very idea of leaving home... or even getting my driver's license. (Yeah... I've had my permit for 3 years.)

As I transition from high school to college I need to strengthen the bonds that are most important. Namely, I need to strengthen my bonds with my Heavenly Father, my family, my missionaries, those that I consider my best friends, and my supporters. As I transition, this blog will too. I've grown up so much since I first started this blog back when I was a Freshman. Now, I'm a lot older and I know a lot more about life and what's important. As I go through that transition, I'll definitely have to look back and consider all of the lessons I've learned throughout high school about what's really important. I'll be relearning a lot of lessons, I'm sure. However, this blog will turn from a dinky little high school blog to a coping college student's blog.

Thank you all for reading and sticking with me throughout this blog's lifespan. I know that it may be in a lot of your interests to stop reading, but I urge you to continue learning with me and my mistakes that I've made in the past. If you haven't gotten anything out of reading my blog over the years, I'm sorry for wasting your time. If you have gotten something, then I've achieved my goal. I hope that you've felt inspired to read on.

Hotline Bek

Right when life is seemingly perfect, Satan knocks everybody down while they're caught off guard. Luckily, I've been able to recover quite well after having those car accidents. Satan's made it abundantly clear that he wants me and my friends away from each other and more importantly, the church. As much as he's pulling and pulling, I won't let him take me away. I've seen what letting go does to people and I won't let that happen to me.

If this post offends anyone, I'm truly sorry but I just feel the need to convey my feelings on how worried I really am for those around me. It's sad when I'm feeling cheerful and everyone else around me is miserable because they've got Satan on their backs begging them to be sad. I don't know what else I can do to help my friends. It's like I offer my sincere help but it just gets refused. I'm not sure what else I can do.

In the past, this has been the Lord's way of telling me to break off friendships before I get pulled down a wrong path. However, this is nearly all of my closest friends. The friends that I've gotten to really know and understand and love amidst their trials and hardships. As I said in the post just before this, friends are there for it all. But if they won't let you be there for them, there's no way to even help them.

There's a fine line between complaining about how much your life sucks to somebody and asking for help. If I can help in any way, I'd love to. Everybody seems to be going through rough times. Everybody seems to be losing sleep over their own stress. The most I can say to all my readers is to lose yourself in serving others and forgetting your own problems.

Once Upon A Time, They Were Best Friends

My mom has been giving me the same bit of relationship advice ever since she got engaged to my step-dad: "Marry your best friend."

Now I'm not saying that I'm getting married right now, but yeah. I'm looking forward to that future. Everybody needs a friend though and who better to marry once all the young-adult hormones have gone away? A best friend is the ideal person to grow older with because if you can never get tired of each other and you can continue to make each other laugh, it sounds like a great relationship to be in.

You always see stuff like this in the movies too. Usually the best guy friend that's always there for the girl in the movie, ends up getting her by the end of the film by this same idea: marry your best friend.

Many times throughout the lifespan of this blog, I've defined what a best friend is. Well, I'm about to do it again. A best friend is somebody that you won't tire of (at least not easily) and is somebody that you can make up with easily and joke around with. Best friends should be there through it all rather than just talking about themselves and nothing else.

I'm not trying to make this post a show-off of me and my boyfriend and how we fell in love when we were originally just friends, but we're actually a pretty good example of this concept. We've rarely had problems for the 4 months that we've been together and out of those problems, we can't remember any and if we've been hurt, we make it a point to fix it immediately so that we don't have to see our best friend suffer. It's fun being in a relationship like this because you can mess with each other, hang out, and talk about things that boyfriend and girlfriend don't typically talk about.

Basically, I love the relationship that I'm in and I'm excited for the future that may come as a result of the choices we've made now. We'll see what happens when all's said and done. Typically, my best-friendships don't last forever but I'm hoping this guy sticks around regardless of if we stay in a relationship or not. So much so that we've agreed to always be there for each other even if things don't work out the way that we expect. I intend to keep that promise because that's what best friends do.

Temporary Benefits Don't Last Forever

Sometimes it's easy to push our friends aside for goals that we're trying to accomplish. But most of the times the people that want to help you accomplish the goals that are really that important to you are the ones that you're pushing aside. I'm sad to say that I've been one to push other people aside when something is going on in my life that I need to accomplish when those who are trying to help are getting pushed away. Anyway, you shouldn't do that.

Even though we're in the stage where we'll all moving on with our lives, it's still important to keep some close friends around through this transition. You don't exactly have to be going in the same directions, but it's always important to feel like somebody's got your back. Have you ever been unfairly pushed away by somebody that was in a transition phase with their own life? How many times have those people come back to talk to you later in life? Not very often right? It's very easy to lose touch after high school from what I've heard.

Keeping your friends around may increase your stress levels because now you're not only carrying your decisions on your shoulders, but you're also trying to comfort your friends in their decision making. Maybe it's just me that has this problem, but I've felt that at times it might be easier to just sit back and not deal with anybody. But then again... it's nice to keep those friends around because real friends help and support you. If you're not supporting anybody, who'll support you? In the long run, it's great to keep your friends around because having friends decreases your stress levels.

Long story short, it's never okay to abandon a friend unless you're both going to be better off with each other and that's a mutual agreement. It may benefit you right now to do that, but it won't be any good for your future. Friends care. If you don't care, then you're not a friend.

Get A Grip, Future Girl

It's that time. It's the time that I need to move on. To grow up. To spread my wings and fly flat on my face!

As you can probably guess from the picture on this post, I recently got accepted to Brigham Young University-Idaho. A few months ago, I also got accepted to Idaho State University. Now's the time that I need to buckle down and choose. Where do I want to spend my college life? BYU-I or ISU?

In the end, it doesn't really matter where I get my degree. As long as I get a degree, that's all that actually matters. However, I'm spending years at whatever college I go to. This decision should count for something. And it will.

But wow. My life will be flipped upside down once May comes around and I graduate. I'll be spending life somewhere other than here in little Rigby. Growing up is hard, but I know that I'll get a grip on it sometime an come to terms with my inevitable future.

The important part of this all is that the people who actually care will stick with me through all of these transitions and hardships. The people who don't care will eventually fade out, like they always do.

Life is a constant cycle of people coming in and out of your life. Nobody is guaranteed to stay inside your life. The tide of fate could pull them away at any point. Life could pull them in a different direction than they thought they were going. For example, I have this really good friend: Krista. She thought she was going to go to BYU-I and then become a nurse. You want to know what she's going to do now? She's a future sailor for the US Navy! Her field? Electronics... See? Complete opposite direction. Unexpected, too.

Even though now we may say that we love something dearly and that we'll never let go, have we in the past? Think back five years. Where did you think that you'd be now back in 2011? Are those same people that you said you wouldn't let go of still around? For me, those people are gone. It was all a part of life though. I chose the direction my waves would roll, and those people around me that I thought were so important have been washed out of my life. Others are still there, but just not as close as they were five years ago.

Nothing is permanent. It's really hard to determine where you'll be five years from now. Especially when you're out of school. You're basically thinking through all of the possible decisions that you're making within the next five years and predicting the outcome. That's easily over a million decisions. A lot of those decisions could affect you greatly on where you'll end up.

So think... Where do you really see yourself in five years? Will your friends that you have now continue to be there by your side or can you see them fading away? What can you do to be better now so that your life in five years is even better?

Let Down Your Anchor

It's another new year. And with that, everything's going to change again. I'll lose more people. A lot more people, now that I'll be graduating this Spring. It's amazing seeing myself grow up though. It's especially easy to see through this blog. I'm so glad that I got inspired to start this thing up because it's helped me to see my growth and to grow even more than I have. Not only does it help me, I've heard that it's helped out some of my friends and they've heard something that they've needed to because of my blog.

2016 is going to be the biggest turning point in this blog's lifespan. The transition from high school to college will be recorded right here. It could be hard. It could be exciting. We'll see. But there are certain things and people in my life that I can rely on to be consistent through it all. If I anchor my life in those areas, I'm sure that I can't go wrong and that this can be another good year full of growth and accomplishments.

So what's happening this year in my life? Well, I'm going to participate in the Mixed All-State Choir this February, my brother's getting married this April, I'm graduating from high school, and my best friend (boyfriend) leaves on his mission. I'm super excited and well.. scared for it all, but I'm sure that everything will turn out fantastically this year and that I'll be going in the direction that the Lord want's me to.

My New Year's Resolutions: 

Scripture Study Every Day: to keep me anchored in the gospel to keep me steady through these transitions.
Talk to a Family Member Every Day: to keep me anchored in my family and keep me steady and involved with the people who care through these transitions.
Be More Considerate: to my friends, family, and fellow students because sometimes you don't know what somebody might be going through.
Come to Terms With Growing Up: to basically be okay with moving out and going to college and getting a job and other adult-stuff.