I Can't Reach You...

He's sad and hurt. Where did we go wrong? He says I didn't do anything wrong, but yet he writes over & over I'm dying inside knowing that I probably hurt her. What could all of this mean? I'm super thankful that Dallon told me what happened with all of this seriousness about technology and all. Thing is, I'm really worried about him. Every minute of every day he's on my mind and it makes me wonder what can I do to help him? He's just fine when we're in person, but when I'm gone it seems like his world just collapses onto him and he needs me ten times as much. I can't talk to him. It's not that he's not able to, but that he's ditching technology and actual speech. I know what happened, but I still continue to wonder. Is that all that's wrong? The loss of his father, and of Gavin's grandma was of course hard on both of them. Dallon tells me that he does this every year, but it's never been this bad before. He's falling apart, but what can I do?

Dawson's been sad all week, nonstop. Am I just making everything worse? Am I even helping him? What do I do? I've been so selfish, wanting him to do things for me and wanting him to do what I want. What about what he wants from me? What can I do to cheer him up if I can't even talk to him? He can't even see what I'm saying right now, and that's hard. I need him, and he needs me. I hope he's praying silently for strength. I just hope that he will be okay. I hope he doesn't cut or hurt himself over depression. If he did, or he has already, I'm still going to stand by and support him, but if he commits suicide, I just don't know what I'd even do anymore. I love him so much and the fact that he's being like this makes me want to go anti-social and bawl and stare at my phone until he texts. I know it's not the happiest thing to do, but it's what I feel like.

When he falls apart, I fall apart. When he's sad, I'm sad. I've tried making him happy, but I guess the best thing that I can do is just cry with him and for him. Dawson, if you're reading this... I love you.

Lil Song of the Day: Always for You by The Lighthouse and The Whaler

Epic Shout-Out of the Day:
James: What do I do? I'm so lost right now. Dallon says this is the worst it's ever been, and I want to help but I just can't... I can't...get to him. I can't reach out and touch him. I'm scared.