I Believe in Candy Runs

It was 3:40 when we left that day. The school bell just rang, and Tyler and I were exhausted from putting up with all of our teacher’s lectures. We decided it was time to go on a candy run. We had gone on several before, but when we left the high school parking lot we knew that this one was going to be legendary. It was just me, Tyler, and the roaring sound of “Mambo Number 5” by Lou Bega pouring out the windows of her van. It was my turn to use paper money and her turn to use coins, so I pulled out my wallet to reveal how much money we could spend. She pulled out her change and we counted it all up, giving ourselves a spending limit of five dollars. Luckily Broulim’s was right around the corner from our high school, so by the time we had parked we knew what our game plan was going to be. “Get in and get out,” I repeated as we hopped out of our car seats and walked inside.

By the time we got into the candy aisle, we’d always get indecisive as to what we should buy, and start to compromise our spending limit because of all the wonderful choices they had. Bulky candy bags were our favorites because it meant more time together and more candy for the both of us. Sometimes the candy we would grab was super sweet and other times we would grab candy that was rich and filling. What candy we grabbed really depended on what we were going to talk about that day. If one of us needed a rant session or just a good cry, we’d grab the chocolate. If we were planning on talking about how annoying some aspects of our lives were, we’d grab something super sweet or something tangy and sour. I wouldn’t take those calories back for anything. We knew it was super unhealthy to be going on these candy runs, but it was also super healthy for us emotionally.

The candy runs of our senior year are hard to drown out. We spent so much time talking about life, boys, drama, and especially how far we had come since Elementary school. As the sun began to set, we would ponder about the past and congratulate each other on how far we had come in life. The bag of candy would continue to disappear as we shared everything that has happened to us recently and our feelings about it all. The candy tasted so good that we would never want it to run out.

We’d sit and talk in her van all day if we could, but there were times when the candy runs just weren’t going to happen because there was work to be done. Even now, as a college student, I would never take back the candy runs that I spent with my best friend, Tyler. I believe in candy runs. Sharing feelings and life-long dreams with each other made the experience sweet, rich, and most of all, priceless.

False Expectations Led to My Humility

The college life has certainly been nothing I could have expected. I fully expected to have tons of free time and hardly any homework because that's what high school was like by the end of my Senior year. At college, however, you are expected to do pre-class, post-class, homework, and study. It's certainly been a big change to adjust from a Summer with nothing but down-time, to a Fall with none.

My first couple weeks were very stressful. I felt like I couldn't do anything but study and work on all of my homework. I created a task board out of sticky notes and my cork board. I love how useful it is because it feels great to rip a sticky note off of the board by the end of the week and crumple it up because you finished what you were supposed to before the deadline! This task board is my best friend because it's right there in front of my desk, where I always look-- a constant reminder of how much crap I have to do this week.

My worst fears came true. I got lost. Multiple times. That's okay. I found my way back to class and to my apartment. The scariest part was that I was late to my first ever college class and it started at 12:45, so I didn't have a good excuse. My brother was supposed to pick me up for class (like he said he would half an hour before it started) and he never showed up, so eight minutes before class, I rushed out of my apartment and just kind of followed people into the Smith building and someone redirected me to what room I needed to be in. I had no idea where the Smith building even was, so it was super helpful to kind of just end up there.

Classes here expect a lot of you as an individual. Not only do you need to bring your intelligence to the classroom, but you need to bring your life experiences and your testimony. I'm a little shy when you meet me in person, so it's been quite difficult adjusting to these brand new people. In high school it was a lot easier because you at least knew one other person and were able to slightly crawl out of that shell. At college you're supposed to come to class out of your shell. No comfort zones because we're all brothers and sisters here.

At first everything started to go wrong here, but then after I felt the prompting to start a gratitude journal, everything started to go well. I finally started getting more free time and time to visit with friends and family and get ahead on some of my homework. That says a lot about how important it is to ask for help when you can't accomplish something on your own and be grateful for the help that you receive.

Since using my gratitude journal, I've been given a lot more free time, and was able to decide for myself how to use that time to benefit my life. Luckily, I know my limits and was able to use it in the most efficient way for me. I used that time to spend it with my family, my friends, my man, and to get a little ahead on upcoming classes.

Changing Into Cedar

So I'm all moved in at my apartment, and I've met a lot of great people so far. Coming here in the first place was a trial in it of itself because on the drive over, I was crying and having a panic attack, and talking to myself, saying that it would all be okay and that I'd still have a parent with me, my heavenly father would be watching over me. I'd basically be living over at his house if I went to BYU-Idaho. So far, that's what it's felt like. Not trying to say that I don't feel like an adult, but life here is truly centered around Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. You can feel the spirit anywhere, and I haven't even gone to my first day of class.

So many things have happened because they just needed to. This girl that was going to be in a different apartment wanted to be in my apartment with her friend. She complained to the manager, and I basically got asked if I wanted to switch apartments. I'm glad that I wasn't hesitant at all to say yes. I moved in next door to the apartment I was supposed to be in, and I got the last bed available, but quite honestly, I wouldn't want it any other way. I love everything about my side of the room besides the white walls and the uncomfortable bed.

I was so nervous when it came to meeting my roommates, but they've all been very kind. The last girl to actually move in was my section leader in From the Heart choir, so that made me feel like my prayers had been answered a little. I asked for somebody near me that would make me feel a little more comfortable. But honestly, I love everyone here. The other girl in my room loves Rarity, the girl across the hall is just fun to talk to and is with my section leader (who also loves Big Brother) and the two girls in the other room are cool too! One of them loves Coldplay, and attended that concert in Salt Lake. The other girl offered me pizza the first night and is just so sweet. Even though our age differences are very major here in the "Pent-House," we all feel and treat each other the same way.

When we moved all of my stuff in, I wasn't confident on how I was going to arrange everything. My mom and Christen left! I thought they would help me put things away, but it was all up to me, and I think I got it all organized the way I want it.

This evening I was reading my scriptures and I opened up to 2 Nephi 19, but it was referring to Isaiah 9, so I jumped back to that chapter and I came across this verse...

"The bricks are fallen down, but we will build them with hewn stones; the sycamores are cut down, but we will change them into cedars." - Isaiah 9:10

Bek has fallen down. We will build them with hewn stones. We will build her up again, but better. This scripture is extremely important to me right now. I thought that moving out was going to be the hardest thing in the world. I do miss my bed a little bit, but I'm finding a little piece of home here. I'm finding peace. I'm studying with people who share my beliefs and I believe that I'm here for a reason. I'm here to change into a better person through the small little things and the people that I'm surrounding myself with.
It took me a while to realize what this meant and why it was important and why I might be reading it. I began to see the symbolism beneath the objects. The bricks are fallen down.

One thing I've pondered a lot over this weekend is being in the right place at the right time. I read in a class syllabus that we're allowed only 3 tardies because we should always be to class on time. I couldn't help but think about how that might relate to life in general. We say we'll be there on time in the right place, but how often do we find ourselves lollygagging behind the group, or ditching those plans to do something else that is less than beneficial to our overall growth? I feel that right now I'm in the right place at the right time. I feel as though I was meant to be with these people right here and right now. They're here and they're quite honestly an answer to my prayer. A comfort in letting me know that everything is going to be okay.

Adventure of a Lifetime

My stuff. It's all packed up now. I'll move in on Friday. Saying goodbye continues to be strange, but I've learned more about where I'll be living. I know where my room is, and I know who two of my roommates are, and met one of them a week or so ago. I think me and my mom have scraped together enough money to pay for my first semester's rent. I might even have enough to go buy the things I need to move in with on move in day.

It's definitely weird watching all the friends I have that are younger than me go back to school, while I sit on my butt and play video games and design websites. I'm both jealous and entirely not. I'm not jealous because I've already been there, but I'm jealous because they're there with their friends that they get to see every single day. I'm here by myself, trying to make plans that end up falling through.

I'm just glad that I got to experience what I did in the past couple weeks. I got to see my heroes-- Coldplay perform in Salt Lake City on August 31, 2016. 

The part that was perfect about this concert was that I was originally in Row 17, but after "Bishop Briggs" performed (She was amazing, look her up.) I got offered to move up by this kind couple who had friends in another row. We gladly agreed to switch seats. We moved up to Row 5! I was so close to the stage that I could see Coldplay's sweat fall. This concert was the best night ever, and definitely my new happy place, even though this was a once in a lifetime opportunity for me.

That's not all we did that week though, we also went to Comic Con the next day!

Among the Mark Hamil and William Shatner panels, we also went to see all the vendors who were selling everything you could imagine. I was amazed, but there was even a Swan Princess booth, and I got to meet the Executive Producer of the series, Seldon Young. (Swan Princess is my favorite childhood movie, definitely a classic) I got a few photo ops, but definitely a good time. If you ever get the chance to go to Comic Con make sure you go all the days, bring a battery to charge your phone, bring someone you love, bring plenty of money (I only bought two things), and expect to pay a pedicab to bring you back to your car (our feet were so tired afterwards)