Give A Little More

Eight days of vacation and all I've been doing is binge watching TV shows and movies on Netflix. Other people are out doing things and yet here I am just laying in bed with my step-sister, Sarah, watching Sword Art Online. As the days of my vacation pass by, my phone seems as if it hardly ever goes off. Here I am again... lonely. Sure, I've got a few people that would like to talk to me... but they're just the kind of people that I don't feel like conversating with because I'm always the one carrying our pointless conversations. As the hours of my nothing-filled day pass by, my phone seems to be filled with nothing as well.

There's always that one guy that we, as teenage girls, usually count on. For me, that person has ended up being James. I always feel like talking to him. He brightens my day and makes me feel wanted. He's the best guy friend I could possibly ask for. When we text and talk on the phone he makes me feel like I'm actually wanted. I always hope that when he talks to me he feels the same... but lately he's been busy with work and family so we haven't been able to talk that much, but that's okay because I always have Netflix and video games... but all I really want to do is hear from a hand full of people (no name dropping).

Loneliness. What else can you expect after getting out of a super long relationship? After being used to all of this constant "I love you" stuff, I've realized that I took it all for granted. There's always those days where I think the fact that I'm single is the best thing ever... but the opposite is true too. I think I say that for every single person on the planet when I say that. It's just human nature. 

I just hope that someday I'll actually have my love life figured out. Right now it's easy for me to say that I'm more confused than I've ever been about love. It's not that hard for me to decide what kind of guy is the guy I should marry in my future; It is hard to decide what I need to do to improve myself for him so that I can be the girl that he's looking for. With how little my dating experience has been, I still have a lot to learn about detailed qualities.

For example, it's easy for me to write down on my list that a guy has to be faithful, but it would be better if I were to write that he would stay true to the gospel and to me. Different qualities can be taken in many different ways, and as you go down the list of qualities you can easily settle for less...  which is something nobody should consider when searching for a future partner. Making a quality list may also help you figure out whether or not they're doing all the things on the list as well. If they fit your list perfectly and you want to marry them, you want the feeling to be mutual, right?

Fixing myself after I got dumped has definitely been one of the biggest-- if not the biggest challenge I have ever gone through. I remember how devastated and broken I was. I still had friends there to support me after all the drama like Gabby, Kiley, Sienna, and James and I'm thankful looking back to see how much they've gotten me through. They all taught me that it wasn't really the end of the world after 'Drawkah.' Turn Around, Bright Eyes. After all, if it weren't for them, I may have abandoned my blog or done something equally as drastic just because of how lonely I felt. I have to thank the Lord for this one because my friends helped keep me sane.

I am so grateful for all of the blessings that come from writing this blog. Some may not know what the good in having a blog is but I know that having a blog was good for me because:

• My friends are able to check up on me
• I am able to look back on how I've dealt with situations in the past
• Helps me relate my past situations to now
• Helps me remember what I've gone through
• It has helped me share my own beliefs
• It has given out inspirational thoughts and advice

As this year comes to an end, I look forward to seeing what 'epic' things may happen to me in the future and what advice I may give to some of you that may inspire us all to be better people. Give a little more than you take. Think before you speak. Comfort those in need. It'll all be worth it. Kindness circulates through the law of attraction, but so does negativity so be careful what you give to others.