First, off! I'm super sorry I didn't post yesterday. I couldn't post because...well...difficulties with this person named Phebe Murray. She started cussing at me for this girl (not naming names because she threatened me not to.) She's like: "You can't do that to her! I saw the conversations! You need to fu***** leave her alone and stop fu***** starting rumors. If you don't I'll kick your a**." It was pretty bad. Thing is, I didn't do ANYTHING to this "un-named girl." me and this "un-named girl" used to be best friends, but ever since I told my friend Coleman Allen about a emotional breakdown I had, "un-named girl" has hated me. I don't even see what the big deal is. What did I do wrong? NOTHING.
Okay, so I was going along with my day, and then walking out of my 3rd hour...First person I see? Marcus Hernandez. He was super super happy, and this is what people said for the next 3 or 4 minutes.
Marcus: Guess What!!! =)
Me: What? =D
Marcus: *whispers slightly* I got a small kiss.
Me: OMG...I THINK I HEARD THAT WRONG...DID YOU SAY YOU GOT TO SMOKE PISS?!
Marcus: HAHAHAHA NO!!!
Me: then what did you say?
Marcus: I got a small kiss!
Me: Omg..You and Sienna KISSED?!
Marcus: yeah!
Me: do you know what this MEANS?!
Marcus: yes.
Me: I have to kiss Dawson today.
Marcus: haha yes.
*I walk off with Mary and Chelsea...*
Me:You guys! I HAVE TO KISS DAWSON.
Chelsea: ehh...don't worry about it. and btw YES you have to kiss him.
Me: Mary, what do you think about this?
Mary: You have to.
Me: Okay...I'll do it! I'll kiss him.
*Dawson walks outside behind Mary, Chelsea, and I*
Chelsea: Hey! There's Dawson! Hi Dawson!!
Dawson: Hey. |
*Dawson walks quickly off to Mr. Green's classroom*
Me: OHHH gosh. *Bek pulls hood over face* Please say he didn't listen in on our whole conversation. PLEASE PLEASE PLEAAASE.
Chelsea and Mary: Hahaa
During our lesson in Seminary, I silently prayed about whether I should kiss him or not...I got an answer that I should. On my way to 5th hour, I see Dawson and automatically think: okay..here we go, Bek..you'll do fine. I look down..thinking for a second, and the first thing I do is...wave...i just wave. He walks me to my 5th hour and I give him a hug, and then we part ways. During 5th hour, all I could think about was my "game plan" for how I was going to attempt to kiss him...I couldn't think of ANYTHING. I decided to just...do it randomly after we hug...but how? I could barely manage kissing his cheek after a hug. I was about to give up on my plan, when all of a sudden! The bell rang. It was now or never! This was my chance to show him I truly care! There was no way I was going to be a pathetic couple that can't get anywhere. Heck, Sienna and Marcus got together a MONTH after we did.
As I walk out of class, I speed walk to the gate and just...think...think of being full of confidence and think of how happy I might make both of us. There he was...in his blue jacket. =) I had to do it...I had to. Being stuck in the moment, I leaned forward...then I stopped myself thinking: "NOT YET...WAIT TILL THE GATE OPENS." To make sure I didn't look constipated from leaning forward awkwardly, I quickly told him I was "stealing" his jacket. He knew I'd ask...He took off the blue jacket, and I took off my red and black varsity jacket. We switched. I then wore his jacket...which is incredibly comfy I must say. His friends came over, and all of us just talked...I looked at how Marcus and Sienna were acting..it was so much more different then how Dawson and I act around each other... Marcus' arm was around Sienna, and Sienna looked like the happiest girl in the world. Was this because kissing made them closer? I had to find out. I HAD to kiss him...if not today, when? The gate opened and the kids ran to get to their buses as I hug Dawson longer than usual because I'm still debating in my mind because of nervousness. We end the hug...I thought: I missed my chance. I was about to say: See ya tomorrow, when all of a sudden...CHRIS(a guyfriend of mine and dawson's) said: "Kiss like Marcus and Sienna!" I said: "Okay!" shrugging my shoulders and leaning in to actually kiss him. I was almost there...I could feel it as my eyes closed...then...I kiss..HIS CHEEK?! I KISSED HIS CHEEK?! I was furious! I couldn't believe I kissed his cheek! ALL THAT WORK AND COURAGE FOR NOTHING?! I KISSED HIS DUMB LITTLE CHEEK! I asked my friends who had saw it...they told me that Dawson moved his head last minute...I was furious...My friend, Whitney, laughed and said: Rejection! and I was like: I JUST GOT REJECTED.
On the bus, I tell Keely what had happened, and she was pretty surprised. She then joked around and said: It's only because I wasn't there playing romantic music as you two finally kissed. Keely told me to look at the brightside..she pointed out all these things/ reasons that stopped Dawson from kissing me. Here's a couple reasons we came up with.
--Bad Breath.
--EWW...KISSING?!
--Not Ready.
--She kissed me...but I wanted to kiss her.
--CLUELESSNESS OF HOW TO KISS.
--Nervousness controls him.
--Keely not being there to play romantic music.
Anyways! I don't think he and I will be kissing anytime soon...unless HE kisses me. I'm not going to deal with a clueless person, and get rejected constantly.
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