Walking Inside a Purple Snot Monster, The Blot

Here's the word to describe my day: LONG. I didn't really do anything today..However, I did kind of do some stuff. I decided to talk to my parents about what happened with Mandi and Phebe, and they totally agree that I'm not the one doing stuff wrong. After that, I just kinda sat around and didn't do anything.

Then, my mom showed me the microscope she bought to look at dog sperms and stuff. I was pretty excited to see what they looked like! We looked inside and saw all the tiny little sperms. It seemed like there was a million of them in one drop. We zoomed in, and the sperms were all shaking and some were moving around. Something I couldn't stop paying attention to however was that whenever I looked in the microscope I could see my own eyelash. I never realized how many eyelashes I had until today. HAHA

I then talked to Dawson and stuff for the rest of the day. My day was pretty boring actually. But here's something I did ALL day: PLAYING EPiC MICKEY!!!

First off, I finished the rocket and stuff, and had gotten inside this tower that Oswald had told me to climb. So i started to climb the stupid tower. There were chandeliers EVERYWHERE. I decided to use that to my advantage. However, the blot had these stupid tentacles that kept pushing me every which way. After I had climbed the tower, there were these gargoyles that I had to paint, and then use my spin move to make it so that their light beams hit the crystal in the middle. However, there was one really bad obstacle...THE BLOT. The blot was there the whole time...IT TOOK FOREVER to get all the stupid gargoyles turned around and hitting the crystal with their beams. Just when I thought I was done, THE BLOT hit me and then I had to start over!! -_- After I finished turning around the gargoyles and stuff the blue light hit the blot, and then the blot flew away. Then we got a shot of Fireworks being aimed into the sky, and Gus told me to head to THE NEXT tower, and then Gus was like: I don't think the next one will be as hard...Anyways, after I climbed that tower, I got up to do the exact same thing, except for the bridge was half-broken, and that the blot spewed enemies AND tried to attack me every 5 seconds! I finished in one piece...I was relieved, and then I found out that there was ANOTHER tower. I got out of that tower, and then started climbing the next one. As I started up, I found it really really easy. But then I got locked in a room with a huge enemy with two smaller splatters. I quickly thinned out the smaller splatters, and then painted the huge enemy, and exited with one heart left. As I get up to where the Blot usually is to attack me, nothing happens...and I start to get a little bit worried. I carry on, and paint all 4 gargoyles as I turn them around to face the correct way. The building shakes, and the floor falls from under me.  THE BLOT WAS ATTACKING! Every 5 seconds the floor fell again, taking me down to the bottom...At least I didn't have to climb that tower again! I was on my way down anyways! We were about to get our little machine thing ready to shoot the fireworks, when Oswald sits there with Ortensia frozen in a statue...Mickey and Oswald start admitting their confessions while Gus was changing the batteries of the stupid remote. As Oswald and Mickey were about to shake hands, the Blot comes out of NOWHERE, and scoops up Oswald! Gus comes out and he was all like: I HAVE THE REMOTE! And then the Blot scooped him up too! Mickey, being brave yet stupid and all, WALKED RIGHT INTO THE BLOT! I literally got up out of my seat and screamed: MICKEY, ARE YOU STUPID?!!!! I was IN the blot..I've always been super scared of the blot, so this was HUGE news...I WAS IN THE BLOT! I walked through without a problem...it grossed me out because the walls were dark purple, and it was like snot in there...and EWW. Turning a corner, I'm greeted by Gus. He says he's okay, and that we needed to find Oswald, and get my heart back before the Blot goes into the real world. I just paint all the fat splatters that sit around and explode all day until I see some Bloticles!! I kind of freaked out because these bloticles weren't only blue! they were blue and black! I started to pop the little zits on the huge bloticle I found, I went into the little pathway, and then I found some blot-corrupted-cartoon-characters! I started to freak out, and attempt to use my paint on them! HOLY FETCH...THEY KILLED ME IN TWO HITS WHEN I HAVE ALL MY PIPS! These things were like zombies, I couldn't kill them, or make them friendly...I couldn't do anything. They were two quick. Then I had a strategy...PAINT THE BLOTICLE'S ZITS FROM AFAR! All i needed to do was stay on a different level then the blot corrupted characters in order for me to not get killed. After I had popped every zit on the stupid bloticle, Gus explained that the cartoon characters that were blot corrupted disappear whenever you get rid of the bloticle that was in their area. When i got back into the main area with my heart in the air surrounded by a cage of bloticles, I saw Oswald attatched to a wall! I tried to speak with him, but it was like he was painted onto the wall..he didn't even move...This is when I decided to quit playing for the day because I was really cold because I usually play this game downstairs.

Why? It's a Long Story...

Okay, so lately people have been asking me MANY MANY questions. SO, if you want to know more about my life, here's what you probably need to know to understand about half the things I do.(this might be a relatively long post, guys.)

It was the fourth of July and I was texting Mandi about her relationship with her parents. All of a sudden, she tells me that she has to walk to the parade. After tons and tons of explanations of what was going on with her and her parents, I came to the conclusion that she had just gotten kicked out of her house. After we made a deal a couple of months ago that if she ever got kicked out I would give her a place to stay, I found the reflex to go pick her up, and take her in. I picked her up after she discovered she had no cellphone service. She was in tears, I hugged her and told her it was going to be okay. We then went into the park, she didn't even want to do anything. All we did was walk around with water bottles that I had bought us. I suggested what I wanted to do, but she was so controlling and just did what she wanted instead...walk around and do nothing and have me follow her. This is when I noticed she's not a true friend. Sure I understood that she was going through a rough time, but that doesn't give her the right to treat me like crap. It was time to go home, Mandi kept refusing to get into the car, but we eventually got her in. When we got home, it was time to do some chores around the house with my step-brothers, Adam and Andrew. I started pouring cleaning fluid all over the floor so that we could mop it up, and so then we mopped it up, Mandi kind of did it with an attitude though. She really didn't want to be there... After we finished, she FORCEFULLY took my phone, and then started texting pretty much every guy she knew as she sat on the top bunk of my bunkbed. It was then time to go to see the fireworks, Mandi didn't want to go with us. but she did because she was forced to because she was going to live with us for the time being. When we got to the fireworks show, we set down our stuff, and then asked if we could to go the park because Mandi wanted to show me something. Of course having awesome parents, they said yes, but to be back before it got too dark. I agreed, knowing what she meant. We got to the park, and all she did was walk around and do nothing, just like before. I was starting to get confused. Plus, Mandi still had my phone...was she stalling? What was she texting people about? How boring I am or something? I had so many things going through my head. I started mentioning heading back to the ditch where my family usually is. She said she wanted to stay in the field like normal people. i said i wanted to go and be with my family and obey the rules, and started walking away not caring if she was following or not. By the time i was completely out of the field, I realized i had just stood up for myself the first time against Mandi. I was so proud of myself. She was behind me, with kind of watery eyes. She wouldn't speak. We got to where my family was, and then we sat down, I asked her if I could have my phone back. She asked why, and I said because it was my phone, and she's like WHY DO YOU NEED IT? and i was like: ITS MY PHONE. She started to tuck it into her pocket, and then i jumped out of my chair, and started to get it out of her pocket myself. She hit me and said: DON'T TOUCH ME! I said: "then give me back my phone" in a serious tone. She took out the phone as it vibrated, and started deleting every message on the phone...after she finished deleting CONTACTS off the phone, I finally got it back, checked the time, and put it in my pocket to watch the fireworks. Every time I tried to make a comment on a firework, Mandi was there...Silent and watching the fireworks with tears in her eyes. At the end of the show, she turned to me and commanded that we took her home. I automatically thought we'd take her there and then she was going to go find some other friend to stay with instead of me. No. NOT HAPPENING. I asked over and over: Are you sure? What do you think is going to happen anyways? She always replied with stuff like: I don't know. or Who cares? As we take her home, I get tears in my eyes as I imagine what could happen to her, what her parents will say to her. I give her one last hug, and she gets out and walks up to the front door, and walks in safely with not a comment.

One day, I was sitting around(during the summer) and then all of a sudden, i get a phone call from some unknown number...Not knowing whether I had made the right choice, I pick up the phone and say hello, and then I hear...his voice. I hadn't talked to James in forever. It was amazing to be able to hear his voice...I started to cry, and then had him tell me about what's been going on in his life for the past month or so. He had to go, and so we said goodbye. That's when I really broke down into tears. I had a complete emotional breakdown, and needed someone to talk to. I decided to call my best friend at the time, Mandi. Yet, she didn't pick up, so I needed to find someone else who was available to talk. I decided to talk to my new friend, Coleman, about the situation and emotional breakdown that I was having. Coleman and I talked it all out, and then I was totally fine. Then Mandi texted me asking what was wrong, and then I told her and she was just kind of like: okay whatever. How was I even supposed to reply to an "Okay whatever"?! I knew right then she didn't care about the situation, so I didn't think much of it when I posted on Coleman's wall thanking him for helping me out with it. Then...it started.

Rebekah Phillips: Hey Coleman! Just wanted to thank you for helping me out with that emotional breakdown! It means a lot to me, thanks! =)
Mandi: You talked to him about that and not me? Not cool.
Coleman: Hey no problem Bekah.
Rebekah: Mandi, I tried to talk to you about it, and it didn't really work. How am I supposed to reply to "Okay Whatever"?
Mandi: That's childish of you, I'm not going to fight about this over facebook.

Coleman: Mandi, it's not a big deal!

Mandi then Un-friends Coleman and I on facebook causing he and I to be in constant worry for the passing months. Around August, Coleman called me and we talked about a conversation that he had with Mandi that made him really really sad. (I can't really remember what they talked about...)

Mid-September, I decide to confront Mandi saying: Hey, it's your ex-bestfriend. Why do you think I hate you? I don't. Why do you think I'm spreading rumors about you? Because I'm not. She replies with: Who is this? I reply back with It's Rebekah. Mandi and I really really needed to talk this out. Who knows? Maybe this could save our relationship as bestfriends. Mandi and I start to talk and stuff, and then she basically says that everything is my fault for what I posted on facebook about having Mandi overreact to what I had said to Coleman. I told her I needed help and advice from other people. She said that she's getting called a slut, and that she needs to go die. I told her straight up that I had never said anything like that. I told her that she could even ask my friends if I would say such a thing, and they'd say no. At the end of our talk she just asks me: So does this make us friends? I said: In a way, yes.

School comes around, and then I find out my friend, Kaleb is dating Mandi. I felt pretty great about this because I've known about his crush on her for a while. My friend, Chelsea, found out that Mandi's been telling everyone that she's dating this guy at our school named Caden. Kaleb had no idea about this guy named Caden, so we decided to tell him. He was pretty devastated  but seeking advice, I decided to talk to Coleman about it and see what he thought. I left out some words when I talked to him about it though. I basically told him that Mandi was cheating on my friend Kaleb with Caden. I had no reply. The next week, I go about my daily life thinking: What's Mandi even thinking? Oh well, I'll just leave that alone. Then all of a sudden one day, Phebe Murray comes up to me and starts threatening me. She told me that she would effing kick my effing a word, if i didn't effing leave Mandi the eff alone.I told her I was leaving her alone and that Mandi and I hadn't talked since the halloween dance. Phebe then told me she saw the conversation, as I was confused, she walked away. My friend, Jarron stood up for me though. He said: Rebekah would never say that! She'd never talk bad about anyone! Jarron turned to me questioned me for a minute and then he was angry. Later I found out Phebe Murray had threatened Chelsea the same exact way. There was no way Phebe was going to get away with this without getting reported. Chelsea marched down to the viceprincipal's office and since he wasn't in, she left a note on his desk saying why she needed to talk to him. Chelsea pretty much just told the vice principal that Mandi was harrassing me and her using Phebe. Phebe denied everything and didn't get in trouble. However, Mandi got kicked out of our school thanks to Chelsea! =) I was glad because I knew she hated me.

A couple of days later, I get a reply to a text I had sent Mandi. Mandi had told me that I was the one responsible for everything going wrong in her life. Her skin cancer, her scars, her rumor problems, everything was because of me. What have I done to her? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. The things I've been doing while Mandi has been quote-unquote SUFFERING? Okay, well I had an emotional breakdown, that's all. I just wanted to talk to someone else about it because she wasn't there at the time. By the time she contacted me, I didn't need to talk it out anymore. Next? I felt hurt by the way she overreacted about me talking to Coleman, and decided to post some of my feelings on Facebook. After that, I went to school with my friends, and met a new best friend, Chelsea. (oooo i'm such a bad person for getting a new best friend. -_- *sarcasm*) After that, Mandi started going to my school, and automatically some one starts rumors about her. Mandi assumes everything bad that has happened was me. Mandi tells Phebe about what bad people Chelsea and I are. Phebe cusses/threatens us to leave Mandi alone. And she's expecting me to feel sorry for her? There's no way in heck that I'm going to say "Oh Mandi, I'm so sorry for all the trouble my actions have caused you. Can you ever forgive me?" NOT HAPPENING. She just needs to look at the bright side of life, and stop being so selfish towards others.

Two days ago, I was just relaxing in my 5th hour class when all of a sudden, I got called into the vice-principal's office. Curiously, I started to walk down there. I didn't know exactly why I was getting called down. Could it have been because of Mandi or Phebe? Oh well...I was about to find out. As I wait outside of the Vice-Principal's office in a desk, certain people pass by and their thoughts are: What the fetch? Bekah doesn't usually do anything wrong. My friend, Kayla Phillips starts to question me through looks. Kayla walks past all the way, and then backs up slowly, and looks at me. She lifts up her hands and shoulders in confusion, and then I do the same. We did this to tell each other we didn't know what was going on if you couldn't tell.

I then walked into the vice-principal's office. The first thing I see? The resource officer. I was starting to get a little shaky...Why was the resource officer in there with us? I look over to my right, and see Phebe just sitting there. Here's how it went...

V-P: So Rebekah, Where were you this morning?
Me: School. Cafeteria tables talking to my friends.
V-P: Did you ever go into the bathroom in the cafeteria?
Me: No.
V-P: Phebe, did she?
Phebe: She did. I promise you.*nodding head*
Me: *shakes my head in dissagreement*
(thoughts: what the fetch? the bathroom? What happened in the bathroom? What's going on?)

V-P: Rebekah, did you ever see Chelsea this morning?
Me: Yeah I think so.
V-P: Where were you when you saw her?
Me: Well, the bell to go to class had just rang and she wanted a hug, so I hugged her.
V-P: Where did you hug her?
Me: The trailer right in front of the cafeteria just off to the left.

V-P: Where did you go next?
Me: my 1st hour class which is Mrs. Dayley's trailer.

V-P: Where's Mrs. Dayley's trailer?
Me: To the right of the cafeteria if you walk out of it.

V-P: Oh so just off to the side?
Me: yeah.
V-P: Okay.
Resource Officer: Okay, one of you is lying, and one of you is telling the truth. Do any of you want to change your stories?

Me and Phebe: *shakes head in disagreement*

Resource Officer: You do know that you're liable for my time and having to pull out the footage of that bathroom right?
Me: I guarantee you I was never in that bathroom at all today.
Phebe: She WAS.
Me: No.
Phebe: YES.
Resource Officer: Rebekah, do you know what has to happen if I find out if you're the one lying?
Rebekah: Am I going to get suspended?
Resource Officer: No, you're going to get expelled if we see you in that tape at all. Do any of you want to change your stories?
Me and Phebe: *shakes head in silence*
V-P: Okay, they're not going to change their stories any time soon. Girls, you can go now.
Me and Phebe: Okay.
Me: *gets up and walks to the door, holds it open for Phebe to walk through*

Phebe: *gets up and walks through the door*
Me: *walks through and closes door*
V-P: wait! come back in here for a minute.
Me and Phebe: *Walk back into the room*
V-P: It'd be best if you guys stayed away from each other for a while.
Me and Phebe: Okay, *walks back through the door*

I started to get angry...What happened in this bathroom anyway? All I knew was that I think the resource officer didn't believe me. She was going to look at the tape...call people in...stuff was going to happen. I didn't even know what was happening! I sit down in my 5th hour desk, silent. I needed to vent my anger to someone. The bell rings...First person I see? Dawson. He seemed like he was in a good mood. I didn't really care though. Sienna walks over, I pull her over away from our boyfriends and start saying everything I knew about the situation. She basically says to me: Don't worry, Bek. Phebe's just a bi***. You'll get through it.We all know you wouldn't hurt anyone.

I then see Chelsea...She's furious. It was obvious...she just came back from the V-P's office to get accused of something. I totally broke it. I was full-on ANGRY. We started throwing information in each other's faces. Still confused and angry, I get on my bus and sit next to Keely and Braxton. Them being confused, I had to tell them what was happening. We sat in a 3-seat together with my arms around both telling them what had happened in the last 10-15 minutes. No one knew what happened. 

The next day, I get called in..I told him what I knew and everything, and then he was like: so are you the slightest bit confused? I was like: I don't even know why I'm in here. He gave me a complicated answer, but I was able to sum it up into english: Phebe told us that you and Chelsea hit her in the bathroom. 

My reaction:  *wtf face* Okay? 

V-P: want to change your story? 

Me: No, because my story is the truth. 

V-P: Okay, you're welcome to leave. I know that you are taking this very well, I'm sure you're not in any trouble.

Me: Okay, thank you. *leaves*

I decided to tell my friend, Caitlin about what was happening between me and Phebe. She then told me an AMAZING bit of information. Phebe had asked Caitlin to punch her in the face and give her a black eye so that she could blame it on some girl. I knew right then, that Caitlin and I had to go back and talk to the V-P about this. So, during the transition from 1st to 2nd hour, Caitlin and I talked to the V-P. She told him the information, and later in the day, she got called in and had to sit there with 2 resource officers. At the end of the day, everyone started asking me questions about what lie Phebe could've came up with. Why it has anything to do with Mandi? Why? It's a Long Story. It's obvious that Phebe's trying to get me expelled because she's mad about what "I did" to Mandi. What did I do to Mandi? I have no idea.

Last night, I was just minding my own business when all of a sudden i get a message from Coleman on facebook. Here's what Coleman said word for word with no bleeping:
"Sooo I hear you like to try to get girls kicked out of school? Are you fucking dumb? Go take Ur dumb friend and lesbian out somewhere else instead of rigby because your retarded and watch my little pony which is a children's show! Don't talk to Mandi ever."

Coleman: you sure make my Mandi mad. Stay out of her life.
Me: Oh yeah? Name one thing that I've done to Mandi.Coleman was like: Spread Rumours.
Me: About what?
Coleman: Mandi cheating.
Me: Wasn't me. Plus, cheating makes her look bad anyways. I'm not the one who did something wrong and cheated on my boyfriend! Btw tell Mandi to leave ME alone and to stay out of MY life. She won't stop sending people after me, and she won't stop harassing me. So I've taken it into my own hands, and decided to block all her numbers and to block her facebook account.

(My thoughts: I don't need Mandi's Drama...I'm sick of putting up with her.)

Song of the Day: Never Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift.
Mandi, we're never ever ever going to be friends again. Deal with it, and stay out of my life.
Shout out of the Day: Mandi Thornton and Phebe Murray.
If you're reading this, don't bother reporting me because FREEDOM OF SPEECH. Stay out of my life, I don't want to deal with any of your stupid drama. Okay? Mandi, quit harassing me. It's not okay, and it's a form of bullying. Phebe, quit making up rumors about me. I know it's you, don't act like you don't know. There's no way I would ever beat you up in a bathroom. Sure, I want to, but all my friends know that I wouldn't even hit a butterfly! ASK ANYONE THAT KNOWS ME. Deal with the drama in your life, and look at the bright side, and maybe you'll get more friends.

Mind Debates

Okay, yeah I know..It's a little early to be posting...but I felt like I needed to get it out of the way and give you guys an update! I was on my Dashboard, and saw that I have over 100 page views! ^^' Believe it or not, it turns out that gave me the confidence and the reason to post this early.

Yeah...anyways! I stayed home from school...I've gotten sick. You know, with a sore throat and a terrible cough and a headache. Yeah, it pretty much sucks. Luckily, I've got one person sneaking messages to me, and that's James. At least I know that he cares about how I'm doing. =)

Song of the Day: Hey, Soul Sister by Train<3
I chose Hey, Soul Sister because it just kept popping into my head whenever James texted me.
Shout-out of the Day: Austin Fitch

Austin and I talked the other day, he's even cooler than I thought! Keep being an inspiration to me and to others, Austin. I love you! *hip-bump*

Not much happened today. Yet, I had a debate with myself whether or not to go to school this morning.

Should I go to school? Sure, I'm sick..but what if i could just withstand it even more, and just go? But then again.. O_o If I don't go...Dawson is gonna be sad all day because he won't be able to see me...What if he gets all emotional? What am I gonna do about it? Then again...I'm sick. There's not much I COULD do about it. Oh gosh..that's right..I'm not allowed to make any more moves on Dawson anyway..I can't even grab his hand or anything. I don't think hugs should count.. Oh gosh..that kissing attempt. he knows about it...what if I just don't go to school because I don't want to talk about it with his friends...They'll forget about it. I'm sure. *cough cough* Maybe I should stay home.. =/ I AM having a hard time breathing after all... *texts mother to call in sick for me*

Anyways..that was my argument with myself this morning...Hope you enjoyed the blog today. 

The Kissing Attempt.

First, off! I'm super sorry I didn't post yesterday. I couldn't post because...well...difficulties with this person named Phebe Murray. She started cussing at me for this girl (not naming names because she threatened me not to.)  She's like: "You can't do that to her! I saw the conversations! You need to fu***** leave her alone and stop fu***** starting rumors. If you don't I'll kick your a**." It was pretty bad. Thing is, I didn't do ANYTHING to this "un-named girl." me and this "un-named girl" used to be best friends, but ever since I told my friend Coleman Allen about a emotional breakdown I had, "un-named girl" has hated me. I don't even see what the big deal is. What did I do wrong? NOTHING.

Okay, so I was going along with my day, and then walking out of my 3rd hour...First person I see? Marcus Hernandez. He was super super happy, and this is what people said for the next 3 or 4 minutes.

Marcus: Guess What!!! =)
Me: What? =D
Marcus: *whispers slightly* I got a small kiss.
Me: OMG...I THINK I HEARD THAT WRONG...DID YOU SAY YOU GOT TO SMOKE PISS?!
Marcus: HAHAHAHA NO!!!
Me: then what did you say?
Marcus: I got a small kiss!
Me: Omg..You and Sienna KISSED?!
Marcus: yeah!
Me: do you know what this MEANS?!
Marcus: yes.
Me: I have to kiss Dawson today.
Marcus: haha yes.
*I walk off with Mary and Chelsea...*
Me:You guys! I HAVE TO KISS DAWSON.
Chelsea: ehh...don't worry about it. and btw YES you have to kiss him.
Me: Mary, what do you think about this?
Mary: You have to.
Me: Okay...I'll do it! I'll kiss him.
*Dawson walks outside behind Mary, Chelsea, and I*
Chelsea: Hey! There's Dawson! Hi Dawson!!
Dawson: Hey. |
*Dawson walks quickly off to Mr. Green's classroom*
Me: OHHH gosh. *Bek pulls hood over face* Please say he didn't listen in on our whole conversation. PLEASE PLEASE PLEAAASE.
Chelsea and Mary: Hahaa

During our lesson in Seminary, I silently prayed about whether I should kiss him or not...I got an answer that I should. On my way to 5th hour, I see Dawson and automatically think: okay..here we go, Bek..you'll do fine. I look down..thinking for a second, and the first thing I do is...wave...i just wave. He walks me to my 5th hour and I give him a hug, and then we part ways. During 5th hour, all I could think about was my "game plan" for how I was going to attempt to kiss him...I couldn't think of ANYTHING. I decided to just...do it randomly after we hug...but how? I could barely manage kissing his cheek after a hug. I was about to give up on my plan, when all of a sudden! The bell rang.  It was now or never! This was my chance to show him I truly care! There was no way I was going to be a pathetic couple that can't get anywhere. Heck, Sienna and Marcus got together a MONTH after we did.

As I walk out of class, I speed walk to the gate and just...think...think of being full of confidence and think of how happy I might make both of us. There he was...in his blue jacket. =) I had to do it...I had to. Being stuck in the moment, I leaned forward...then I stopped myself thinking: "NOT YET...WAIT TILL THE GATE OPENS." To make sure I didn't look constipated from leaning forward awkwardly, I quickly told him I was "stealing" his jacket. He knew I'd ask...He took off the blue jacket, and I took off my red and black varsity jacket. We switched. I then wore his jacket...which is incredibly comfy I must say. His friends came over, and all of us just talked...I looked at how Marcus and Sienna were acting..it was so much more different then how Dawson and I act around each other... Marcus' arm was around Sienna, and Sienna looked like the happiest girl in the world. Was this because kissing made them closer? I had to find out. I HAD to kiss him...if not today, when? The gate opened and the kids ran to get to their buses as I hug Dawson longer than usual because I'm still debating in my mind because of nervousness. We end the hug...I thought: I missed my chance. I was about to say: See ya tomorrow, when all of a sudden...CHRIS(a guyfriend of mine and dawson's) said: "Kiss like Marcus and Sienna!" I said: "Okay!" shrugging my shoulders and leaning in to actually kiss him. I was almost there...I could feel it as my eyes closed...then...I kiss..HIS CHEEK?! I KISSED HIS CHEEK?! I was furious! I couldn't believe I kissed his cheek! ALL THAT WORK AND COURAGE FOR NOTHING?! I KISSED HIS DUMB LITTLE CHEEK! I asked my friends who had saw it...they told me that Dawson moved his head last minute...I was furious...My friend,  Whitney, laughed and said: Rejection! and I was like: I JUST GOT REJECTED.

On the bus, I tell Keely what had happened, and she was pretty surprised. She then joked around and said: It's only because I wasn't there playing romantic music as you two finally kissed. Keely told me to look at the brightside..she pointed out all these things/ reasons that stopped Dawson from kissing me. Here's a couple reasons we came up with.

--Bad Breath.
--EWW...KISSING?!
--Not Ready.
--She kissed me...but I wanted to kiss her.
--CLUELESSNESS OF HOW TO KISS.
--Nervousness controls him.
--Keely not being there to play romantic music.

Anyways! I don't think he and I will be kissing anytime soon...unless HE kisses me. I'm not going to deal with a clueless person, and get rejected constantly.

Thoughts and Decisions.

She's leaving...She's leaving this week. There's so many times I've had with her... Maile and her family. I sure will miss them. I remember meeting her...coming into primary and just saying hello was probably one of the best things I've ever done. I remember she used to be jealous when I went to kindergarten. This is Maile's last Sunday in Grant 2nd. Marlee, Maile, and I used to be the Three Musketeers. We could never be separated. When we were separated, we fought hard to get back together. I remember one day I went over to Maile's house and slept on her trampoline...I got sick during the night and Kai (Maile's older brother) and Maile picked me up off the tramp and took me into her house and tucked me into Maile's bed. They took care of my sickness the next day because they said it was best if I didn't travel anywhere. I know that Maile cares about me. I care about her too.

Kai...Maile's older brother...the one I have felt is the perfect example of a priesthood holder...he's moving this week too. I had a small crush on Kai for 5 years(8-13)He's always been so good to me. He's always been so helpful, and awesome. I'm very very upset that he and Maile are leaving because I feel like I need him to be there for me. At Martin's Cove I was having a hard time carrying my bags to where they needed to be. Even though I told Kai I didn't need any help with my bags, he came over and forcefully took them away from me. He knew I needed help. I love it when Kai plays his ukulele and his violin. It always gives me confidence that I might be able to move people with my voice and my words and my singing. Now that I think about this... Kai is my example of a hero. I've talked to the girls in my ward about what they think about him, and every single one of them has mentioned either a crush or him being the example of what they want in a husband. I wish Kai and Maile would stay.

As I was sitting in sacrament meeting this morning, I saw this family...I've always looked at little children and their parents as: "hey...this might be my future. great...stress." but this time...I looked at it differently. I was listening to the words of the speaker as he said that family was important and that it was just as important as protecting the little ones. I payed attention as I saw that the children depended so much on their parents...The littlest girl, got up and walked towards the mother, and she picked her up and smiled at her without a care in the world. She had the little girl sitting on her lap as the two of them smiled and listened to the speaker. This is when I realized: I want that..I want that so much.. I want to be that mom that the children depend on...I want to be able to treat my children like they are the most precious thing in the world to me. I need this. I need this so much. I need to be able to have a family. If I don't get a family...I feel like I'm going to miss out on a lot. Family to me, is really important...I've never really had a true family because of my parents getting a divorce, and the age differences between my brother, sister, and I. I love them all and wouldn't trade them for anything. Yet, I still feel like I need to be the one with a big house, maybe a dog or two, children, and a husband that cares for all of us.

Looking back yesterday, I was scared about who I love more...James or Dawson. I think this is a problem because eventually I am going to have to choose between the two of them. So, I was talking to James about how sweet Dawson can be, and then I ended up making them have a contest. I'd ask them both a question, and they'd come up with an answer that I would end up rating. After about 3 questions, I got even more confused. They are both super amazing guys...I know now that there's no way I'll be able to choose for a long time. I need all of us to finish up our high school experience, date around when we're 16, and then after praying hard, and a lot of consideration, I'll be able to choose. There's no way anyone could expect me to choose in under a year. Heck, I'm only 14 years old. I haven't even started dating yet. I'm completely fine with my current plan...dating around, and then deciding when I'm out of high school. Sounds good to me!

Doorknobs and Being Adorable!

It's Saturday! I was so happy that it was Saturday today because I got to watch the season 3 premiere of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic! I watched it and SPOILER ALERT: SPIKE SAVES THE DAY it was great!

Anyways, after that I remembered that one of my friends is moving away soon. Her name is Maile, and we've been friends since we were 4. We are super close and know a lot about each other. I know Maile is always going to be there for me, but I need to accept the fact that I'm not going to see her again unless I move to Utah. Today, there is going to be a surprise party for Maile. I feel like such a jerk, because I haven't made anything for her, and I lost the invitation. It looks like I can't go. I hope they all have fun. The only reason I lost it is that I had gotten a new backpack named Tim. Haha, I know what you're thinking... WHY TIM?! Well, don't ask me. Ask Chelsea Moore. Anyways, I lost the invite when i was cleaning out my old bag and putting in all the necessities in Tim. Tim is great and all, but he's the cause I can't go to the surprise party.

You know the doorknob I mentioned in my blog yesterday? How my small bathroom has NO doorknob whatsoever? Well, later that night, my mom returned with DOORKNOBS..i was entering my room with my hand on the knob, and noticed something different. I was wondering what else was different in the house. Reino told me that there were two other things. It took me 3 hours to realize that what he meant was that we got a new doorknob for the smallest bathroom and for the closet. Doorknobs. =)

Yesterday, I was talking to Keely about how I screwed up on kissing my boyfriend's cheek. We came to a conclusion. I have kissed my boyfriend's cheek 2 and 1/2 times. 2 because i actually got his cheek, and 1/2 because I freaking got his ear! I know Keely and I decided not to mention this embarrassment to Dawson, but yeah... I ended up telling him. He totally didn't notice, and yet we ARGUED about it. Haha..we're so ridiculous. I miss my phone...I really don't enjoy using my mp3 to text my boyfriend because sometimes the texts come later than expected.

Okay, so before my phone got fried yesterday, i was being a dork, and  took a picture of me drinking some root beer  I sent the picture to my boyfriend, and he replied with one word. Adorable. I asked if he meant me drinking root beer was adorable. he replied with: you're always adorable, no matter what!! Haha, yeah that totally made my day yesterday.

Embarrassment.

Today... Where do i even start? this morning?

I woke up, and then i got dressed and then i was putting on my makeup and STABBED MY EYE with the stupid eyeliner. SUPER irritating. Anyways, i was gonna go into the bathroom, and then it turns out my step-dad is in there... GREAT. JUST GREAT. I had to use the bathroom with absolutely NO door knob.

Meanwhile in the Veteran's day assembly, i crack and mess up in about 5 different parts in America the Beautiful. Yet, when the band starts playing with us I end up calming down, and singing perfectly. The rest of my day was pretty crappy. I was reading a scripture in Seminary and then i freaking had an awkward AND embarrassing change in my voice THAT SECOND. It was like i had some sort of yodel. Next, i was attempting to kiss my boyfriend on the cheek for like..the second time ever and since we were exiting from a hug, i freaking slid my lips across his EAR...and then flipped my head backwards and kissed his cheek..he didn't say anything, just walked away. EMBARRASSING. I dropped my phone in the sink...it could be dead forever. Next, i get home and realize i'm starting to lose my voice. I was thinking about making a blog since my friend James has one. Plus, i never really HAD a voice to begin with...Here's my attempt to speak up, and get people that can relate to me. 

Warning: 

-I may post about super super girly things..like conversations i have with my boyfriend.

-I may post about what's getting on my nerves.

-Sometimes, I'll call out certain people, or give shout-outs

-I'm going to give out my personal point of view, not yours.

-I'm putting up what happened that I want to talk about...there's some stuff that's too private to put in here...and some stuff that's way too embarrassing if you know what i mean.

People I May Talk About Frequently:

-Dawson

-James

-Chelsea

-Teachers

-Parents
-My Brother

-Mary
-Keely
-My other future friends