As some of you may know, my school is having ISAT testing this week and next week. Due to the testing, we have a screwed up schedule. The only class I kept track of is the 3rd block of the day, and the last, with a total of 2 and a half hours, while our second block is juat an hour and thirty minutes. So much stress, but never have I had homework because I always get it done with how much time I am given, in either that block, or the last block of the day.
As a result of not having much to do right now, I've been attempting to calm myself down, and find some sort of inner peace. Ever since the almost break up happened, ive been terrified of losing Dawson, or anyone else. I feel like sometime in the near future, something big and dramatic is going to happen. Usually, id just dismiss the idea, but the idea of something like that terrifies me. I know something big will happen, and I dont know whether its for better or for worse.
I feel like soon I'm going to look back at my "Drawkah" relationship and have some form of regret, whether it may be for making a mistake that could ruin us, or regretting the entire relationship. I don't want him to leave me...he's so much more important than he thinks he is to me currently. Sometimes I wish I could just tell him how much I care, but honestly I don't know how to put all my feelings into words.
I wish he could stay with me forever, but I know that its not always going to be this way with him. What will I do when I need him the most, but he doesn't need me? Do I still need that form of independance? As some of you may know, I have trust issues, and cws(chronic worrying syndrome). Any decision I could make with Dawson could alter my future at any time and any way. If I screw things up with him, I don't know what I will do.
Song of the Day: Infatuation by Maroon 5
Shout-Out of the Day:
Dawson: Please don't leave me...I love you even more than I know. I just want to be with you. You're so important, and you mean the world to me.
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