As you all know, I talked more about Dawson in the last post, but he's honestly there for me. One night I couldn't sleep, I didn't know what to do, and I was sad because I felt like he was taking me for granted or something. I messaged him on Tango saying that I had a nightmare. I didn't expect him to reply, but suddenly, I did end up getting a reply... He asked me what happened, and I heard his voice. The voice he used when he was truly concerned. I told him about my nightmare, and he said it wouldn't ever happen in real life. He even apologized for being such a jerk in my dream... He told me how he felt about me, and it made me feel important again. He said "Honey I'm your loyal and trustworthy boyfriend, I'm never ever gonna leave your side you're too important in my life. Better yet, you NEED me and I see that i love you too much to leave you we will never split. I don't care that you're emotional all the time, bay. You're more important than anything or anyone." When I'm lonely, and feel like he'd do okay without me, I'm going to look back on all the sweet things he's said to me, and just remember that he does love me. "Hun I would die for you for you to live, would shatter if you left, would do everything and anything for you." If this isn't love, then what is it? He says he's not even thinking, he's speaking from his heart, and he says his reason is to protect me and make me feel loved, and do anything for me. When will I ever get any of that again? I feel so lucky to have someone this brilliant. It's brilliant that he feels this way about me and only me.
Sienna. Ever since I met Sienna, I knew there was something odd about her that separates her from all the other people that I know. I wonder if it's her look, her attitude, or her personality. Thing is, it's none of that. It's the hope she gives others. It's the inspiration and the advice that she offers. As I mentioned in Not The Breakup Story, she's the friend I've always hoped for when dealing with trials. She's such an amazing person, and now that I think about it, I don't know if I do enough for her. When I needed her, she came for me, but am I there for her when she needs me? With a true friendship, each person has to level out their dedication. To be perfectly honest, when I asked myself the question this morning, who is my best friend, I automatically thought Sienna. She's such an important person in my life. A while back, after we made up Hate Me... But Why?, Sienna sent me this text that honestly made me appreciate her so much more than I already do. I wrote it down because she said that I need to keep it...because it's something that makes our friendship so much stronger. Wednesday, July 10th at 11:32 pm "Please. Remember this. Even if I get mad at you. I still am your friend. No matter what I say I don't mean it if it is hurtful. Positive things I do mean. Please never forget that." That is proof that she cares. THAT is proof that she's there for me whenever I need her. That tells me that no matter how much she wants to kill me, she still loves me to death. Sienna, I want to honestly tell you that I feel the same, and that message you sent me has impacted me a lot, and shown me a lot about friendship. Thank you.
Song of the Day: Into The Dark by The Lighthouse And The Whaler
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